PatS3 (Pennsylvania)
Posts: 10
Posts: 10
Posted:
I stay at home with my four children, I watch my sister's two children (the oldest I am actually getting custody of), occasionally I watch my cousin's children when they need it and a couple people in the neighborhood, including a member of the board asked me to take their kids to the bus and pick them up. Normally I would just say no, but I have a special needs infant and these people come here and sit for me when I need it, which is at least 2 days a week. I can't afford to pay for a nanny, I need this exchange. In addition, I host a playgroup and for a while I was doing some free infant photography to get a portfolio so I could apply to an art school. I had maybe 6 people come in with babies for pictures, I didn't charge anything and I have the ads I posted and email communication to prove that.
I understand that I have a bit of traffic with children, it's compounded by the fact that we have home healthcare nurses and medical supply deliveries in unmarked cars, my oldest child is from another marriage and leaves with his dad and my relatives may have my mom or their husbands pick up the children, meaning I could actually watch two kids for the week and see four different people come and go. I also offer items on freecycle weekly so I have 5 or so visitors picking up free items instead of throwing them in the trash (I'm one of THOSE people, vegetarian, home gardening cloth diapering, lol)
My HOA accused me of having a home business a year ago, I wrote them a letter explaining everything and it was dropped. A few months ago they sent me another letter where they said I have 10 days to stop running a home daycare and they contacted all kinds of local agencies. I spoke with those agencies and they said there was no actual evidence of a home daycare and it is a non-issue. In fact, when I got the first letter I called and asked if I am legally allowed to watch my relative's children and they said yes. The law states I can watch 3 children plus any related to me every day before it is considered a home business.
So, I sent a letter back stating again I am not running a business. They are suing us now for non-compliance. My husband attended an HOA meeting in which they said they have all this evidence against us, like makes and models of cars and tax records (I have "other" income claimed because my sister pays me an allowance for food and other things because her children come here most often. My ex-husband knows this and I have to claim it as my income in child support hearings. It is NOT much money, it was like $2k in income last year total).
The HOA wants me to provide make and model and license plates of cars of my relatives and guests to prove I am being honest. Ok, I have no problem getting those for my most frequent visitors but they want to compare their list with mine and the problem is my neighbor (the one filing the complaint, head of the compliance committee and neighborhood busybody) wrote down all of my guests, people I did pictures for, home nurses, freecycle, healthcare supply deliveries, etc. The list of people that actually come here on a regular basis is like four families with maybe 2-3 cars each. They also want me to get letters from the agencies they reported us to saying they certify me as not having a business. Does this make any sense? Shouldn't the burden of proof be on them? How exactly do you get state childcare licensing to come to your house and verify you do NOT have a home daycare? The woman laughed at me and said she wasn't getting into our HOA squabbles.
The neighborhood busybody never said anything to us about it being a disturbance, when he first reported us last year it said that kids were playing in the street and it was unsafe. My kids never, ever play in the street- I have a big backyard and a huge finished basement. Last year my kids were 8, 3, 1 and newborn- how exactly are they in the street? It was laughable. My husband talked to the guy and he said because he is a nurse he is a mandated reporter if he sees an unsafe situation. He said he has a hard time taking care of HIS four kids let alone more. That's not the HOA's business how large my family is or how many kids I can personally care for vs he can care for. This is really just an obnoxious, pointless complaint that has little evidence but the HOA is proceeding with the lawsuit.
So what exactly do I do? Do I just hand over thousands of dollars to the HOA for non-compliance? I can't afford to pay them off, if I could afford thousands of dollars I would just hire a nanny and tell my family to go to hell. I don't LOVE the situation I am in, who wants to barter childcare so they can spend a week in the hospital with their baby? However, I think it is asking too much to say I have to stop having playdates or limit my guests. I have 2 days a week on average with NO ONE HERE M-F and never guests on weekends, so we're talking about maybe a few guests 3 days a week. I'm not some suburban drug dealer with enormous amounts of foot traffic, I have parking for 4 in my driveway plus three spaces in front of my house, my guests have NEVER damaged any property, blocked a driveway or anything else.
I understand that I have a bit of traffic with children, it's compounded by the fact that we have home healthcare nurses and medical supply deliveries in unmarked cars, my oldest child is from another marriage and leaves with his dad and my relatives may have my mom or their husbands pick up the children, meaning I could actually watch two kids for the week and see four different people come and go. I also offer items on freecycle weekly so I have 5 or so visitors picking up free items instead of throwing them in the trash (I'm one of THOSE people, vegetarian, home gardening cloth diapering, lol)
My HOA accused me of having a home business a year ago, I wrote them a letter explaining everything and it was dropped. A few months ago they sent me another letter where they said I have 10 days to stop running a home daycare and they contacted all kinds of local agencies. I spoke with those agencies and they said there was no actual evidence of a home daycare and it is a non-issue. In fact, when I got the first letter I called and asked if I am legally allowed to watch my relative's children and they said yes. The law states I can watch 3 children plus any related to me every day before it is considered a home business.
So, I sent a letter back stating again I am not running a business. They are suing us now for non-compliance. My husband attended an HOA meeting in which they said they have all this evidence against us, like makes and models of cars and tax records (I have "other" income claimed because my sister pays me an allowance for food and other things because her children come here most often. My ex-husband knows this and I have to claim it as my income in child support hearings. It is NOT much money, it was like $2k in income last year total).
The HOA wants me to provide make and model and license plates of cars of my relatives and guests to prove I am being honest. Ok, I have no problem getting those for my most frequent visitors but they want to compare their list with mine and the problem is my neighbor (the one filing the complaint, head of the compliance committee and neighborhood busybody) wrote down all of my guests, people I did pictures for, home nurses, freecycle, healthcare supply deliveries, etc. The list of people that actually come here on a regular basis is like four families with maybe 2-3 cars each. They also want me to get letters from the agencies they reported us to saying they certify me as not having a business. Does this make any sense? Shouldn't the burden of proof be on them? How exactly do you get state childcare licensing to come to your house and verify you do NOT have a home daycare? The woman laughed at me and said she wasn't getting into our HOA squabbles.
The neighborhood busybody never said anything to us about it being a disturbance, when he first reported us last year it said that kids were playing in the street and it was unsafe. My kids never, ever play in the street- I have a big backyard and a huge finished basement. Last year my kids were 8, 3, 1 and newborn- how exactly are they in the street? It was laughable. My husband talked to the guy and he said because he is a nurse he is a mandated reporter if he sees an unsafe situation. He said he has a hard time taking care of HIS four kids let alone more. That's not the HOA's business how large my family is or how many kids I can personally care for vs he can care for. This is really just an obnoxious, pointless complaint that has little evidence but the HOA is proceeding with the lawsuit.
So what exactly do I do? Do I just hand over thousands of dollars to the HOA for non-compliance? I can't afford to pay them off, if I could afford thousands of dollars I would just hire a nanny and tell my family to go to hell. I don't LOVE the situation I am in, who wants to barter childcare so they can spend a week in the hospital with their baby? However, I think it is asking too much to say I have to stop having playdates or limit my guests. I have 2 days a week on average with NO ONE HERE M-F and never guests on weekends, so we're talking about maybe a few guests 3 days a week. I'm not some suburban drug dealer with enormous amounts of foot traffic, I have parking for 4 in my driveway plus three spaces in front of my house, my guests have NEVER damaged any property, blocked a driveway or anything else.