"Personal" Item on Agenda?

Here is our situation. Last week our board president and her husband found out that he has a terminal illness. It's been devastating for them both, and on her it has taken a toll both mentally and emotionally.

At this time she cannot (understandably) think rationally nor make sound decisions. I've gently tried to explain to her that she does not have to attend our upcoming board meeting which is this Wednesday. She insists on being there because we're going to be talking about the budget.

Now this morning she called me and said she wants a "statement from the president" to be put on the agenda for the meeting. She said that she's going to (at that time) tell everyone what is going on, because as of now, only myself knows about their terrible news.

I tried telling her that this was not the place to talk about it, but if she wanted to talk about it after the meeting was adjourned she could do so, because it's not "board" or "association" business...but rather personal. Yet she insisted it be on the agenda because she wants to work it in with the "reason" she's not responded nor replied to those of us calling and e-mailing her.

I'm at a loss here, guys. Help me out. I'm torn because I don't really think it's association business; yet I'm very, very sympathetic to her situation. I'm afraid that if she "opens up" like this and tells people she can't be a "fully active" board member that someone may suggest she step down, or worse, quit the board. THAT would really hurt her.

Glen, we'll certainly let her have her say....but should it (in your opinion) be an item listed on the agenda for the board meeting?

Anna I'm no expert on FL but as I understand it there has to be a published agenda so "Statement from the President" certainly works. While you or I might not do it the same way; in the grand scheme of it all, what does it hurt? Minutes are not a transcript so they don't have to detail what she said only that she spoke on a personal matter. I can see that you want to help her and keep the stress to a minimum but you are probably causing more stress trying to reduce the stress than if you just let her have her say.

I see no problem with her item being on the agenda, nor the nature of the topic itself as part of a board or membership meeting.

It reminds us that we are not simply the sum of disparate parts. We are a human community.

Well, in the interest of complete disclosure, I'm a cancer survivor myself. I had my first battle with it over 25 years ago and a more recent scare this past spring/early summer.

For the most part, I keep my personal and health-related challenges close to the chest.

However, over the years in my career and then in my role on various boards, there have been a handful of times when I've had to make a more personal disclosure than I would have under most general circumstances.

Sometimes it's a matter of keeping the people with whom I work apprised of situations that may require me to be M.I.A. once in a while.

Other times it's a matter of wanting to be the one to "control" the grapevine, so to speak. Grapevines are funny things and will run rampant regardless of what information you do or don't feed them. However, the more you can control what information goes into them about yourself by yourself, the more successful you may be in keeping the grapevine at least somewhat accurate!

Hi Anna,

Sorry for the delayed answer--for some reason I opened yours and did not find it again so again--sorry for not being on top of this.

I would add her statement to the agenda after all of the business is finished but just before adjournment. There should always be a place for "any other business" seeing that it is not an item that others will have discussion or any type of formal Board business to discuss.

AnnaD,
I hope this points out to everyone that wants to spend their life complaining about all the folks, Board and otherwise that have such dedication to the Association and how serious they take it. Some folks have so much invested it is almost impossible to walk away,

I agree with the rest...............no harm done pleasing this lady's wishes. She has earned it and if there ever is a reason for the Board to stand up and roar back if someone would be critical of their decision, this is it. Some Board members like to think they can do things because they can do them. Here is good justification, in this instance.

Just remind the Board members these are unusual circumstances, what it the world could this woman say that would over ride the circumstances.

Very little of HOA ill's are caused by people who care.

Ok...the meeting was last night. It WAS on the agenda and as soon as the item came up she started to talk. Of course, she first burst out crying....then went on to tell all the details of her husband's illness and what their plans are for the next few months.

To try to keep it "board business" I asked if she had any thoughts about resigning or stepping down as president. (I'd had this discussion with her BEFORE the meeting; because I "warned" her that people may ask.) She said she had no intentions of resigning but wanted people to know that she may not be able to attend ALL the upcoming meetings. She asked for our compassion and understanding.....which of course we will give.

The one unfortunate thing was that the BIGGEST association gossip was at the meeting and sucked up every word she said. Since I got home from work today I have four e-mails from people saying that this gossip was running all over the complex telling people that "Harry" is dying. I also heard that "Harry" is LIVID that people are talking about his medical condition. Apparently our president "forgot" to tell her husband that she was going to reveal this information at an open board meeting.

Board Business----Personal Business??? Where do you draw the line? I didn't think it was appropriate to include personal business in the agenda because one has to be able to see "outside the box" and to consider all of the "what-ifs".

At the end of the meeting, I said, "Ms. President, I hate to bring up the "technical" side of this discussion, but as the secretary I have to write up the minutes and include the item: "Statement from Board President." What should I say?

I understand the minutes should only reflect motions and decisions by the board; but I can't just ignore this agenda item.

I propose the following:
STATEMENT BY BOARD PRESIDENT:
President stated that because of family issues she may be unable to attend all board meetings. She will continue to be active in the community and has no plans to step down.

What do you all think? I only posted this follow up, as another reason for all of you to put some ideas in my head. You guys help so much!

As there was no motion associated with it, what would the minutes have to address?

Anna,
Let it go Anna. You got about a ninety % chance of making it worse and a 10% chance of making it better.

Put what you want in the minutes that doesn't cause a stir and move on.