Difficult Homeowner

This is a touchy subject, and I want to be fair, so will try to set aside some of the emotional content that comes with it. There is a homeowner in our condo who maintains an aggressive and hostile attitude with board members, particularly with the president of the board. The board is secure in the knowledge that this person is in the small minority of Homeowner's not happy with the way the condos are run & maintained and the actions of the board, yet he still threatens to hijack our annual HOA meeting with negativity and accusations. Any suggestions for defusing such behavior?

My experiences of this homeowner over the years is that this is his modus operandi with all, and shouldn't be taken personally, but it still requires energy to deal with it all. At bottom, in the current case, in my opinion, is a situation where the homeowner wants an architectural waiver, which the board has not granted, so he's stirring up sentiment to replace one or more board members. I don't necessarily think he will be successful, depending on the number or people attending the HOA meeting and the # of proxies assigned to the board, but still - a nasty meeting seems inevitable.

Also, emails are received regularly and angrily "turning in" this or that neighbor for condo rules infractions. the current board consistently asks homeowners to approach neighbors if there is a dispute, to handle it politely, neighbor to neighbor. This board wants to get out of the business of policing these neighbor to neighbor issues unless intransigent issues require board action.

Ideas or reflections? your successful experiences?

Thanks, Nancy

Brian is so right in all his comments. It is so important that you have a president who knows how to control a meeting and carrys through. If there is one owner who constantly interrupts the agenda, etc he should be asked to keep his comments to the three minutes allowed and if he ignores this request should be asked to leave. It may not be a bad thing to have a security person there to escort him out if this is an annual meeting. No one person should be allowed to disrupt a meeting.

I agree with what Anna has said. One reason to have a PM is to avoid neighbors confronting other neighbors. If you dont have a PM I guess it is up to the board though I would hate that. The board already gets sooooo many complaints. I did have success once when I approached an owner but kept it very NON-confrontational. "Hi, I'm _______, your neighbor, and I am sure you didn't realize it but when you park your truck there your neighbor instead of looking at trees, etc they see the side of a truck they look out on through their glass doors. We have addiontal parking across the street which can be used. It worked this time because we had a considerate owner but we all know many are not. A PM should handle these things if you are fortunate to have a good one.

There are a couple of things I would suggest. First, ask your disagreeable resident to write his concerns to the BOD. Use mild language that has no loaded words, i.e. use concerns instead of complaints, issues instead of problems. Ask him to be specific and indicate by word and deed that you value his opinion and you would seriously like to have an opportunity to hear what he has to say. If he gives you such a written list, answer each point and try as much as possible to find some of his suggestions that you can incorporate in your plans. We have had some success with this process. In fact, one of our disagreeable residents brought up some areas that truly needed to be corrected. We did not agree with everything he wrote, but we answered him in writing and enumerated in our answer exactly the actions we took on each item he brought up. Two of the items were corrected and we published in our newsletter the changes that his list brought about. In other words, we treated this person with the respect that is due all our residents.

As far as the annual meeting, the suggestion to hold everyone to a limited time for their presentation is excellent. In our case, an individual who came in front of the entire group chose to behave in a very professional manner. Afterward, we told him that we appreciated his professionalism. And, we were telling the truth. He conducted himself like a gentleman when he was before the assembly. If he had not, his actions would have said more about him than about the board, and the residents would have seen that.

Another suggestion is to ask this person to work on a committee - at first on a committee where he can't do much damage. If he does well, then it's all to the good. If not, dissolve the committee.

Now I don't mean to sound like a naive Pollyanna. I know there are some people who will always irritate and agitate no matter what you do, but I also know that some of the worst offenders are irritating because they have a need to be recognized and appreciated.

With respect to his concerns about the architectural waiver, I assume the board in its answer outlined why the waiver was denied. If you've done that, it is enough. When he writes to turn in a neighbor for some infraction, simply say "thank you," and let it go at that.

I wish you good luck. Why is it that there is always at least one?
Marianne

Nancy,

Just today an example of how to handle a difficult resident came up at our board meeting. For several years now, one resident has complained and complained about the pond behind his house. He will tell his tale to anyone who will listen to him. He has brought it up at 2 or 3 annual meetings, but the fact is we cannot afford to install the expensive system he wants put in the pond. We have tried several different methods of reducing algae that is in the pond, short of installing the fountain he wants there. He has written a letter to the BOD and now his neighbor (I'm sure at his instigation) has writen a letter. BTW, I brought up the subject of pond problems to this forum several months ago and received some great advice.

At our BOD mtg today, we decided to form a Pond Study Committee. He was the first one we called to ask if he would volunteer, and lo and behold, his attitude seemed to change before my very eyes. He gladly volunteered. So we'll have a board member representative on the committee and two residents who live around the pond. The committee will have guidance in terms of limited resources, and they will give periodic reports to the board as they do their work.

I don't know whether the committee will come up with a workable arrangement, but the complainer now has a measure of control over the situation that aggravates him. He has a personal investment in solving the problem now, and I believe when he gets down to the nitty-gritty and discovers all that is involved, he will back off and understand we must live within the resources available. He's an intelligent man, but just a real pain in the neck with his constant complaining. I think his intelligence will take over the complaining.

I hope this helps some. This method wouldn't work with all the nutcases out there, but in some cases, I think it is an approach that could have some success.
Marianne