Ever feel trapped on your board?

I’ve been on my board for the last 14 years with about a 9 month hiatus in there a few years ago when I was asked to return. I had planned my exit by not running again this year and went so far as completing a proxy for the annual meeting having been sucked back in twice before when no one else was interested.

I felt good about my decision to leave - we have a strong president who has been on the board a long time, one other board member who is new to our association but has significant experience and one other member who is newer but generally gets what’s going on even if they do wander down some rabbit holes from time to time. I’ve worked to get our board to a decent financial position, reserve study in place, decent reserves, etc so feel good about the immediate future. We may actually make it through a multimillion dollar roof replacement without a special assessment and would be the first condo in our town to accomplish that if it happens.

I shared with my other strong and long term board member my exit plan today. Sadly she is also planning her exit at the annual meeting and we both have some anxiety about both not being there going forward. Im busier than ever with work, haven’t been able to dedicate as much time as I once did and quite frankly my heart just isn’t in it at the moment. I feel some sense of duty to stay but also I understand that’s not rational either.

Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? I think I just need to hear it’s ok to walk away from this role even if it’s temporary.

I know how you feel. I've been on and off the board since its inception just a few years ago. It's frightening to think about not being present, because we have always had a weak PMC and other homeowners don't take the time and don't have the chops to take care of things properly. My current two-year plan is to get things organized, like you have done, to the point where I believe I can leave. You might consider a few things that I am looking at:

* Make sure you have a strong PMC. Ours was very weak, with no knowledge of Delaware HOA laws and a shockingly incompetent accounting department. We now have a strong PMC that will generally keep our Board in line.

* Cultivate interest in the Board. Seek out the brightest and hardest-working people you can find in the community and encourage them to be involved.

* Join the Finance Committee. To me, the biggest potential problems relate to finances. I'm only mildly interested in what color people are allowed to paint their door, but I'm extremely interested in making sure we are spending enough to keep our community beautiful without wasting money. If you are similarly minded, perhaps limit your involvement to finances so you can make sure the Board if fiscally responsible.

We've had discussions with other board members who feel that they can't step down, and I understand why they feel that way. Here's the contrarian view.

All homeowners share the responsibility for running their associations. Yes, some are more qualified than others, and some should probably never get anywhere near board service. But a large chunk of homeowners refuse to have anything to do with volunteering - and worse, they feel entitled to free professional services from a minority of owners. It's in their best interests to convince the minority that the place will fall apart without them. If you're a board member who feels like they can't step down, you're supporting the entitled folks' view of things.

Is that what you want?

Taking a broader view, it's not in the association's best interest if there is such a mismatch between the skilled few who volunteer and the uninformed majority who won't stir a finger. Maintaining that mismatch may provide a short term benefit but at the expense of the longer term well being of the community.

Next, the best board members seem to burn out the fastest. The community either loses them sooner, or they stay in place and become increasingly less productive.

Finally, you should never sacrifice your own mental and physical health for a job that no one else is similarly invested in.

All this is my permission to step down whenever you want to - although if you're the last serving board member, please appoint at least one other person before you walk away. I stepped down when it appeared I was outnumbered by board members who seemed determined to get themselves sued, because my presence would have done nothing except make me nuts. And it would have prolonged the craziness on the board, since the others were the kind to dig in their heels if they had any opposition. Giving them enough rope to hang themselves actually shortened the time during which they got to learn painful lessons.

You are not responsible for messes that other people make - they are responsible. The rest of the membership is also responsible if they elect the mess makers and don't do anything about it when it becomes clear what's going on. You don't have the power to save people from themselves, and trying to do so won't change the eventual outcome. Go in peace, you've done more than your share.

And in my experience also, that's what happens: mediocre/incompetent boards but they don't burn the place down. The closest we came to burning down was the kerfuffle with our Vocational Dissidents scaring away the entire board and we flirted with receivership. But it was the wake-up call the community needed, and we're fine. It also worked out in my favor because the current board listens to what I have to say (and I return the favor by letting them find their own way and only speaking up if there is something they really need to know).

There is an art to being an effective board member, and there's also an art to being an effective former board member.

Cathy wrote: "...the current board listens to what I have to say (and I return the favor by letting them find their own way and only speaking up if there is something they really need to know)." This is my situation too, Chip. I served actively & effectively on our Board for 14 years till 2 years ago.

Board members and the president do seek my advice. They also appointed me for a couple of special projects that involved lot of knowledge about certain things and a lot of writing. I find it very satisfying to continue contributing to my community in specific ways that I enjoy (and that most directors hate).

In other circumstance, the newly retired directors might like to form or chair a committee re: what interests them. What I do not at all miss are all of the meetings. I attend one boar meeting, via Zoom. My last 2 years were during a time of huge projects at my HOA so we had extra board meetings, we hosted Town Halls, we had extra executive sessions to hire vendors.

Tim makes a good point too. We now have a board member who retired after an involuntary break due to a stroke in mid' 22 which left him partially disabled. I'm thrilled he's back. Our last president has been off the board for more than a year doing some very serious long-term travels. But he's said he may run again next election. If a vacancy occurs, I assume he'll throw his hat in. Meanwhile while at home, he attends board meetings and is on a committee, and I know the current president and treasurer consult with him, too, from time to time.

I took what became a "gap year" for 2+ months travel abroad in '19 and then 2 mo. heavy chemo/radiation tx. But the upcoming election was so important that I was persuaded to run again & was elected. A different director took a gap year and came back as very effective after 4 years son the Board. He retired last year, but now wants nothing to do with anything-HOA.

So these are just few ways one can leave Board service but still contribute...or not.

Directors do not "retire." They either resign; do not run for re-election; or are recalled.

Nor is there anything in state law or any bylaws about directors taking a "gap year."

You put this junk in here, and it just confuses people.

Now, I DiD use confusing language, tho' no matter. My first stint as a director on a board of 7, and also usually sec'y tho'I was president once, was six 2-year terms.

move to a single-family home. not sure why anyone would want to live in a condo with all the problems they have with bad HOA boards.

and quite the HOA position when you move. all problems solved

However much you dislike & disagree with me, elle, I make up nothing and stand by my advice and comments, which often are based on solid, serious, board service characterized by several initiatives that were successful in my HOA.

The last time a poster spewed so many insults so often, the moderator took some action. The violator was JohnB of AC, aka, PITA. As with elle, a large majority of his posts were helpful and informative. But, also like elle, he kept throwing sabots into the works in the form of personal tot-lot attacks.

Elle, you're fabricating that I wrote "gap year" is a legal construct in my HOA. I wrote no such thing. Nor did I imply that I received an "award" for my "gap year." Resorting to mischaracterizations & misquotations always are signs of weakness from the drivel thrower.

Hi all,

Thanks for the kind words. I did indeed skip our annual meeting but made sure my proxy was in for quorum purposes and am officially off the board. Not surprisingly the board didn’t fill at the meeting and they will be operating with some vacancies but there are some good people left so I do feel good about that. I talked with both our PM and president yesterday who both asked if I might be willing to help out with some special projects so I will consider that. Much like a previous poster I care a lot about finances and physical operations and far less about neighbor disputes and paint colors so maybe this could be a good fit in a few months.

Looks good, Chris.

I like Shelia's point about being alert for promising possible Board candidates.