Personal attacks by directors at open meeting

What to do? Plaintiff winning lawsuit against HOA for illegal assessment increases and recording invalid liens is regularly attacked personally by board members and their spouses at open meetings.

Ellen, Your advice is always short, sweet...and to the point. I appreciate the thought and time you share to explain and suggest options. IMHO, most of the concerns discussed on this site could have been nipped in the bud by an alert and concerned HOA Board. Apathy is a cancer!

Are you on the Board, Terri?

If not, I agree with ElleN that you request during open forum that board members make no personal attacks on owners or anyone else. If, by chance, Robert's Rules of Order is required for board meetings in your Bylaws, rare but possible, cite its restriction against personal attacks.

IF your board has a Code of Ethics, such a restriction might be in it. Cite that portion of it to the Board and ask them to comply.

But I'm curious, too. What's the context in which these personal attacks occur? Do they just open a meeting with these attacks out of the blue? If not related to an agenda item, they should not bring up this owner at all. Is this owner in attendance? Would this owner happen to be you?

Is there a rules of conduct handout for Owners who attend meetings? If so, It might say that personal attacks are not permitted. Point that out to the board re: their nasty spouses.

How do these personal attacks start? Do you show up and the board members begin gaming at tge mouth when you walk in? Do you stand up to something and get a snarky comment (or worse) with someone whining about your lawsuit and the fact that you won? Or do you say something, referring to your lawsuit and the fact that you won?

I agree that the personal attacks are unnecessary and unprofessional, but sometimes, people might be poking the bear without realizing it (or they know it and do it anyway because - "I won and you didn't! Suck it up, b=÷×@/
I might write them a strongly worded letter saying something like "I have attended X number of meetings since my lawsuit against the association was decided and have sat quietly while sone if you have made snide comments about me and my opinions on association affairs. If you think the attacks will keep me from coming to the meeting, you're sadly mistaken because I am still a homeowner in this community and have a right to be there.

I have not and will not disrupt board business, but if necessary, I will ask questions if I feel it's necessary to ensure the association is being run according to the documents. We don't have to be friends, but we are neighbors as well as association members who all have a stake in its success.

I will continue to attend meetings whether you want me there or not. I can't control how you feel about that,but I would appreciate it if these personal attacks cease immediately. I will not hesitant to consult my attorney about my options if this continues, do this is your first and only notice. If you want to discuss how we can proceed in a professional and cordial manner, I'm willing to do that."

Now, if you've gotten argumentative, go ahead and apologize for bad behavior- there's a difference between expressing your opinion and being an ass (people may not like what you say, but better everyone see them act like buttholes while you continue to stay classy.)

It may be one or two board members will see the light and start the process to improve relationships. But if they don't, you keep going to those meetings no matter what. Bring your neighbors so they can see this middle school behavior for themselves. Good luck!

The attacks happen whenever a board member is reminded about money or road maintenance. It's almost a sport. I did send a letter today because next Saturday is our annual meeting. Thanks.

What is not in your Bylaws, Terri? Robert's Rules? Even if not, they are required for meetings of the members in Calif. You already should have an agenda for that meeting. What is on it? If early, Owners Forum is still a good time to request that civility and respect for others be practiced by all at the meeting.

Would mind replying to my other questions?

I am sorry, Tim, that you went to the trouble of repeating my other questions & Terri's replies.

Here are my questions above that I hope Terri doesn't mind answering: "Is everyone at your HOA angry with you about the lawsuit?" I also asked what is on the agenda for the meeting of the members. Thanks, Terri.

Let me revise that. About as many who are mad at me are solidly behind me. Half the owners asked for a refund when the court ruled assessment increase illegal. About half the members I've never spoken to about it.

More of a board mtg than member mtg. 1 establish quorum, 2 board member roll call, 3 pres welcomes new members, 4 Firewise committee, 5 treasurer's report 6 mailbox replacement project 7 road report 8 website report 9 election reminder 10 open forum

Our election date is in June, all incumbants are only candidates.

Any suggestions are welcome. Thank you.

Well, Terri, since Saturday's meeting is solely a board meeting, and open forum is at the end, board members maybe will attack you again during the Road Report. WE can only hope that your letter to the Board encourages its members to professionally conduct the business of the Association. How many are on the Board? Do they all attack, or do some practice some decorum and maybe even sympathize with you?

At your turn at open forum, you might think about saying something like, "it'd be wonderful if the Board would focus only on doing what is best for our community and avoid tangents comprising personal attacks." I still like Shelia's ideas. Maybe even some version of her: "I will continue to attend meetings whether you want me there or not. I can't control how you feel about that,but I would appreciate it if these personal attacks cease immediately. I will not hesitant to consult my attorney about my options if this continues, [s]o this is your first and only notice. If you want to discuss how we can proceed in a professional and cordial manner, I'm willing to do that."

If, of course, you can bring a group of non-enemies to the meeting and they are willing to speak about civility & respect during open forum, all the better. Sorry I can't come up with any thing more helpful.

but, yikes, the same directors are the only ones running in June's election?

(ElleN is correct that any parliamentary procedure may be used at meeting of the members.)