How to deal with board members being cyber bullied??

Sorry if this is a long post

I am the HOA president of our new construction community. I've been the president since Oct 2021 and was elected again at our official turnover meeting in April 2022. There are 3 board members, and I am the only one enforcing violations (which I don't mind, though it would be nice if the other board members helped). Because it has just been me... I have been bullied privately via Facebook messages and publically on our unofficial neighborhood facebook group.

The short version:
Resident H: has privately attacked me and now publicly on Facebook, is making false accusations about me reporting invalid violations for her and is attacking my character

Resident P: has publicly attacked me, my character, and my dogs. She has even made a subtle threat "I won’t be so nice next time if it happens again".

In summary, they are trying to intimidate me into not reporting violations.

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The long version:

I was trying to be nice and not report things, and because of that, we started getting complaints about illegal parking (people parking on sidewalks and in front of fire hydrants) and people leaving trashcans in front of their garages. People want to complain to the HOA, but no one wants to actually report anyone. The HOA sent a memo to the community describing the issues and why they were rules and to abide by them. I noticed people still weren't abiding by them, so I started having our HOA manager issue violations for every trashcan or illegal parking violation I saw while on my dog walks. AKA, doing my job.

We have about 100 townhomes in the neighborhood. For the most part, 90% of residents who received a violation fixed the issues, the rest needed multiple violations and one even is currently getting fined $25 a day until they put their trashcans away.

I will start with resident H... She has been bullying and causing issues in the community since day one. We have overflow parking, and she seems to think the parking is guest only parking. She has threatened to tow people's cars who use it as their own and is just nasty to people about it. She also took it upon herself to start messaging me privately at how outraged she was that I was not enforcing these non-existent HOA rules, I just ignored her, as we have stated multiple times that there aren't any rules about guest parking, and we need to wait until the neighborhood is fully turned over to vote on any new ones. She is upset that her 30 guests couldn't find parking one day. She also posted some nasty things on her personal facebook about some of the other neighbors and turned the entire parking issue into a race issue.

Last year I tried asking everyone nicely to please clear the ice from their driveways (it's the law and dangerous), and I was given lots of excuses and resident H basically told me to go fuck off, no one cares, and if I care so much to shovel it myself.

So, once I started trying to enforce trashcans and parking rules, she got quite a few violations, along with like probably 40+ residents over the course of a few months. At which point I get this nasty message from her: "Are you the board president or neighborhood watch because I know it is you that is using your “power” to report my every move to chambers. Please worry about your unruly grass in the front and back (I can see your high weeds from my deck), your dogs popping on people lawns, your trash blowing in others yard, and not the hour or so I may park at the end of the street. You are ridiculous! This is borderline harassment at this point"

To which I responded: "First off, all reports to the HOA are anonymous. Yes, I have reported you (you were parked there ALL weekend), and ALL the like 12 residents that were leaving their trashcan out front, and if I can see who is parking illegally I will also report them, as there have been complaints to myself and the HOA about the parking and trashcans. So, it’s not just you.
Feel free to report my high weeds, that’s what the anonymous system is for. I know they are long, precisely why I am putting in fake grass this month, fucking hate taking care of a yard. I am unaware of my trash blowing onto other peoples yards, but if that’s the case, I will try and fix that.
I always clean up after my dogs, and try to respect people who have signs up. Nothing in the HOA stating I can’t let my dog poop/pee anywhere, just to clean it up."

She responded with pics of her car in her driveway like 4 times during the weekend, and that was the end of that conversation.

Up until now, I just thought it was hilarious how upset this woman is getting over this. Doesn't make any sense!! She wants me to enforce non-existent rules, yet not enforce actual rules that affect her... okay, let me get right on that.

I reported resident P for not pulling all the way forward and leaving part of their car on the sidewalk. It wasn't very far on the sidewalk, but I learned by not reporting another resident of this right away, that they will slowly creep further and further out and then a neighbor sees it and decides its also a good idea and does the same thing, and then I need to report multiple houses. I will just attach redacted pictures for that convo, cause it's just insane!!

According to residents H and P, I am being passive-aggressive, I am harassing the entire neighborhood, and I am abusing my "power" (implied white power). Resident H is telling lies about me making false reports about her and told the HOA manager that I am a racist. Somehow, they are under the impression that I have time to walk around knocking on everyone's door, or looking people up on Facebook to ask them nicely to fix a violation. No matter what I say about that, they go back to being nasty. I got fed up at some point and told them point blank..." I am tired of you trying to bully me into not reporting violations though, and I won't stop just cause you throw a fit." They even were making me out to be a monster for reporting one of my neighbors who had a stroke a couple of months ago. I didn't know what house she was in, but now that I do, it doesn't mean her husband is allowed to block the sidewalk by not pulling the truck all the way onto the driveway. The stroke lady and I have since talked, and she is no longer upset and realizes I was just doing my job. A few other residents decided to join the bashing and either poke fun or just make snide comments at my behest.

Resident H even somehow convinced my awesome neighbor that I am in the wrong and need to apologize to them because they are upset. -.- Never gonna happen.

I asked the HOA board to have our lawyer send letters to residents H and P, because bullying is unacceptable. The board member that responds (the other never responds to anything) wanted to instead send a memo to the entire community explaining the violations. So I agreed to that, even though we have already done that, but only if we also include that we are just doing our jobs and following hoa policies, that we are volunteers and don't have time to knock on everyone's door or look them up about violations. That letter will be going out on Tuesday.

I am willing to bet money that after residents H and P get that letter, that they will post on our Facebook group and continue to bully me. If they do, I will then have the HOA lawyer send that letter (pretty sure the board will agree at that point), and then I will quit, because I don't need this stress. I can handle a LOT, but I tell ya... being bullied, that shit gets to you. Once I am no longer part of the HOA board, I plan on informing the community why I left and what bullying is, and that it is inappropriate and should not be tolerated in our community group.

For a laugh: resident P said the equivalent of... Robber talking to store owner "if you don't stop reporting my stealing to the cops, I am going to tell the cops to make you stop reporting me." -- In what world does this make any sense?

Thanks for making it to the end. I have been very stressed from this, and could really use some advice, or even support. Curious if others have dealt with stuff like this.

Thanks!! <3
Z

I couldn't figure out how to get the attachments to work, so uploaded a highly redacted version of the facebook bullying here: https://acrobat.adobe.com/link/track?uri=urn:aaid:scds:US:b3ac1181-ad97-379d-b13f-3e06c479e61d

Thanks! I should def block them on facebook, but why should I need to leave our community FB group when they are the bullies? For the most part, the group is great and friendly, unless those two start drama. We even used it to collaborate to catch a creeper around the neighborhood once!

How do you justify using HOA funds on a lawyer to police private Facebook pages? In my opinion this sets a very bad precedent.

What a mess. Others have given good advice, but here's a summary of what our association attorney taught us.

* Violation notices are a job for the entire board, not just one person. Our rule of thumb was that any violation needed proof (photos or video) or complaints *in writing* by at least two different homeowners, and the board as a whole approved of the actions to be taken. The violation policy has to be reasonable, supported by language in the governing docs, and publicized to the entire community - you can't just make things up as you go along.

* Of course the other board members are happy to let you take care of violations. Dealing with them is a pain in the hinder, and they don't want to do the work or deal with the fallout of being the bad guy. Too bad, it's their job.

* Enforcement of the covenants is a balancing act. Nobody wants to live in a police state, but the community will go downhill if people can do whatever they want. There is a happy medium somewhere between those extremes - unfortunately reasonable people can disagree about where that happy medium is, and different boards will have different ideas about it.

* The board members should stay off of social media altogether unless they can participate anonymously. If they can't be anonymous, they need to lurk only.

* Community social media pages are not the proper venue for association business and are strongly discouraged. If the board wants to go down that rabbit hole, then there should be a robust Terms of Service agreement that everyone must agree to in order to use the page. This Agreement needs to be at least vetted by an attorney since its purpose is to protect the association if it gets sued as a result of something posted on their sites. The Terms of Service agreement must also be enforced, up to and including kicking people off for repeated violations of the Terms, and this includes board members who can't zip lip.

* Community webpages and social media pages create liability issues. Talk to your insurance agent to make sure you're properly insured.

I agree about the wisdom of talking to your association's attorney to make sure that the association isn't flirting with Fair Housing issues.

I'm not an expert on Facebook, but there may be avenues for dealing with harassment through Facebook. Social media in general has gotten a bit more pro-active about weeding out the bad actors, and harassment is usually a violation of those websites' Terms of Service.

Harassment is also a police matter, although it usually involves people getting in your face so that you feel physically threatened. Cyber-bullying may be as well, although the laws vary and can change - talk to a personal lawyer about that.

Final reminders for board members: a thick skin is valuable tool, and it takes two people to fight. One of my "super-powers" is the ability to walk away when someone tries to start something with me.

For what it's worth --

The Fair Housing Act applies to HOAs, COAs and other communities. Creating an environment hostile on the basis of race is a recognized violation of Fair Housing laws. Of course, when an environment rises to the level of being "hostile on the basis of race" depends on what HUD and/or a court says.

If anything, and speaking academically, you would have the standing to make a Fair Housing complaint.

If H really believes you are targeting her because of her race, and H can prove it (which is a high bar in general), then H might have a Fair Housing complaint that could pick up traction.

If your hands are clean here (and I apologize for not being certain; it's the internet, and you and I are strangers), it seems to me that H is taking a risk calling you a racist because the HOA, while you serve as President, has issued violations to her. She is accusing you of violating Fair Housing law. I feel this is a serious allegation, pretty darn close to saying you are a criminal. When someone says a member of a HOA board has committed such-and-such crime, or allegedly perpetrated something else pretty awful, they better have their facts straight. Because then the standard for defamation changes, and against the person making the defamatory comment.

Overall and based in (I think) a lot of experience (for a layperson) watching (and being a witnees for in one instance) HUD decisions, reading Fair Housing case law, speaking with housing specialized civil rights attorneys here and there, and absolutely lacking all the facts here, I'd say you are stuck having to take this abuse.

The abuse may very well reflect far more on H, and in a bad way, than on you. Taking such a reality to heart is difficult for many folks, but I think the better leaders manage to do so, at least in public, and remain calm and confident.

You can always vent here (and then maybe be a bit more calm in public?). Though be ready to answer hard questions. Folks here at hoatalk try to see all sides. This is not easy when only one side is present at the hoatalk forum.

This forum is pretty darn serious about compliance with Fair Housing law, in my opinion. And folks here know a lot about harassment of board directors; how it stinks; and how to cope so as to stay at peace as well as possible. For many, it's not easy.

Zaza

A few bits of advice.:

Do not engage people on Facebook or any other social media. I say do not even post but if you must, do not engage. Say what it is you want to say and leave it go at that.

Get the rest of the BOD on board about issuing violations. Stop being the Lone Ranger.

Violation notices should come from the Property Manger. Let the PM play the heavy. They get paid for that.

I do not like an association sponsored chat site as it can become negative real fast. I believe information should flow down from the BOD. That said, I can see a need for a neighborhood chat but it should be done not by a BOD Member. It should be private by invite only plus have the ability to remove someone.

I have decided to step down from the board. I spoke with the VP of the board and she understands. I am mostly better now, but I had a few stressful days and it affected my work, and that's where I draw the line. I have too much going on to deal with unnecessary stress that can be avoided. Though I don't think H will stop bullying anyone who doesn't agree with her, at least now I can more easily avoid it, or at least say what I really feel (since I won't need to be politically correct). I really HATE bullies.

Thanks for everyone's advice! I have passed on my lessons learned to the board and summarized anything I was working on for them. Maybe I will run again in the future when I can afford a little extra stress in my life.

A classic example of why I do not like association facebook pages.