Help, my noisy neighbor is leaving trash by my door?

Started by DanielleG4 • 17 replies • 699 views

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DanielleG4
Posts: 129

Posted:

So I have posted before because my neighbor has been a nuisance for a while. I have discussed this with her in person and she apologized but never changed. Cops came on two occasions and yet they took her side. I had an officer update the reports and brought the reports to the HOA. With those reports the HOA sent her a warning.

She didn’t change, I took two recordings and the HOA were going to send her a $100 fine. Once paid, case is considered resolved but there’s the possibility (unlikely) of the fee being waived. I’m not sure if they fined her but they were supposed to, the office told me that she denied the noise when they first sent her the warning.

Now, I came home and was sitting in my car. The Amazon delivery person was dropping stuff off at her place, the neighbor was also coming up and down the stairs. When I walk to my door, I notice a napkin on my mat. Mind you, I haven’t been home since 10 AM. I move the napkin off my mat and right in front of her door, I just peeped outside and the napkin is moved on my mat. She clearly moved it, wtf?! She must have dropped it when she was moving stuff and she doesn’t care to pick it up.

The HOA isn’t going to bat an eye for a napkin and there’s no proof, any advice?

JohnT38 (South Carolina)
Posts: 1,620

Posted:

"The HOA isn’t going to bat an eye for a napkin and there’s no proof, any advice?"

I think this sums it up. Why would they do anything without proof?

AugustinD
Posts: 3,679

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By DanielleG4 on 08/17/2021 5:58 PM
So I have posted before because my neighbor has been a nuisance for a while.
...
Now, I came home and was sitting in my car. The Amazon delivery person was dropping stuff off at her place, the neighbor was also coming up and down the stairs. When I walk to my door, I notice a napkin on my mat. Mind you, I haven’t been home since 10 AM. I move the napkin off my mat and right in front of her door, I just peeped outside and the napkin is moved on my mat. She clearly moved it, wtf?! She must have dropped it when she was moving stuff and she doesn’t care to pick it up .

DanielleG4, I am sorry you are suffering with a neighbor who seems to be a jerk. But I would have responded differently: I would have picked up the napkin; put it in the trash; and done nothing more. Why? Because I hope I would realize my neighbor is a jerk. Unless this neighbor does something really outrageous, I would believe that I am stuck with her childish, small scale insults/transgressions like the one you allege.

One can choose to expend emotional energy on a neighbor like this, time and again and knowing this neighbor will not change, or one can choose a path that gives one more mental peace.

DanielleG4
Posts: 129

Posted:

I’m hoping the fines would resolve the issue but I’m very doubtful. But now you want to leave trash by my door? Yeah I’m not picking up someone’s trash

AugustinD
Posts: 3,679

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By DanielleG4 on 08/17/2021 6:24 PM
I’m hoping the fines would resolve the issue but I’m very doubtful. But now you want to leave trash by my door? Yeah I’m not picking up someone’s trash

Thanks for reminding me of the other path to peace: Leave the trash there to blow away.

CarissaM
Posts: 119

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By DanielleG4 on 08/17/2021 5:58 PM

So I have posted before because my neighbor has been a nuisance for a while. I have discussed this with her in person and she apologized but never changed. Cops came on two occasions and yet they took her side. I had an officer update the reports and brought the reports to the HOA. With those reports the HOA sent her a warning.

She didn’t change, I took two recordings and the HOA were going to send her a $100 fine. Once paid, case is considered resolved but there’s the possibility (unlikely) of the fee being waived. I’m not sure if they fined her but they were supposed to, the office told me that she denied the noise when they first sent her the warning.

Now, I came home and was sitting in my car. The Amazon delivery person was dropping stuff off at her place, the neighbor was also coming up and down the stairs. When I walk to my door, I notice a napkin on my mat. Mind you, I haven’t been home since 10 AM. I move the napkin off my mat and right in front of her door, I just peeped outside and the napkin is moved on my mat. She clearly moved it, wtf?! She must have dropped it when she was moving stuff and she doesn’t care to pick it up.

The HOA isn’t going to bat an eye for a napkin and there’s no proof, any advice?

Advice for a napkin? Clean it up. Ignore it. Give it back. Get a Ring doorbell so you can catch her purposely discarding trash on your mat. Get a new mat. Move.

SheliaH (Indiana)
Posts: 6,968

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By AugustinD on 08/17/2021 6:39 PM

Thanks for reminding me of the other path to peace: Leave the trash there to blow away.

AugustinD brings up a good point - it's possible this napkin blew onto your porch from somewhere else, yet you've concluded (without any proof) your neighbor's responsible. As for the HOA, it's not responsible to intercede on disputes between neighbors unless it involves the common area (misuse or abuse) or several neighbors. You might not agree, but it appears this is what you have, so you can continue to come here and complain - or change tactics if you don't want to move. Considering Carissa's suggestions would be a good start.

I live on the corner in my townhouse community, and for some reason, I seem to get a fair amount of litter. I've learned to take a plastic grocery bag and go out and pick it up from time to time. Keeps my blood pressure down, I get a wee bit of exercise and the yard's clear. If I happen to see a child or adult about toss something, I point it out (calmly but firmly) and fortunately, I haven't been cussed out (or shot). Try that for a little while and see what happens.

If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it. Marcus Aurelius

DanielleG4
Posts: 129

Posted:

I figured the trash incident would not be able to be escalated, but the reports with noise ordinance have been discussed with the HOA. From what you’re saying, they wouldn’t be able to address that. But they said there are warnings and fines for this so posting here makes me second guess what I hear from my HOA office

AugustinD
Posts: 3,679

Posted:

Just saying: When disputes between neighbors arise, I am in the camp that believes that some HOAs/COAs do have covenants that require the HOA/COA to take action, and the dispute does not involve common area or limited common area issues. Fair Housing hostile environment situations (with hostility being on the basis of religion, sex, race, disability, national origin and familial status) leap to mind, for example.

I see no fair housing issue here. But in my experience and depending on the covenants, excessive noise may be something which a HOA should address.

Most importantly though, and practically speaking, the best option for the OP here may be to move. If a move is not possible, make the best of things. Otherwise these battles drag on, are not winnable in any practical sense, and drain a person.

CarissaM
Posts: 119

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By DanielleG4 on 08/18/2021 7:48 AM
I figured the trash incident would not be able to be escalated, but the reports with noise ordinance have been discussed with the HOA. From what you’re saying, they wouldn’t be able to address that. But they said there are warnings and fines for this so posting here makes me second guess what I hear from my HOA office

The HOA says there are warnings and fines for trash? Perhaps. But in your case, as you mentioned, you didn't see her place a napkin whether intentionally or accidentally.

Strictly hypothetical here...a random napkin blows on your mat. As you arrive you see the neighbor hauling trash. By your admission you weren't home since 10am and you don't know how it got there. You see the napkin and rather than throw it away, you assume it was the noisy (and now trashy) neighbor. The neighbor looks out and sees the napkin, knowing she'd seen it on your mat as she passed and gives it back to you. She thinks you put a napkin on her mat. You think she put a napkin on her mat. Maybe it was just an accident or a squirrel with good manners?

DanielleG4
Posts: 129

Posted:

As I mentioned I think the trash incidence is pretty hopeless unless there’s proof it’s her and there’s none. What I have concerns about is the noise ordinance. My community mentions that there’s rules in place and they’ve had it escalated with her to my knowledge. But people on this board say otherwise

CarissaM
Posts: 119

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By DanielleG4 on 08/18/2021 10:32 AM
As I mentioned I think the trash incidence is pretty hopeless unless there’s proof it’s her and there’s none. What I have concerns about is the noise ordinance. My community mentions that there’s rules in place and they’ve had it escalated with her to my knowledge. But people on this board say otherwise

If your real issue is that she's a noisy neighbor and you say they've escalated it and people on this board say otherwise (do you mean this forum? This HOA forum which none of us would have knowledge of whether or not your community escalated a noise complaint....or do you mean your HOA board, who should have documentation of your complaint)

For your noisy neighbor:

You can make a complaint and the community will take it from there.

If you still have an issue, make a second complaint.

If it persist, alas, you will also persist.

Maybe if you raise the complaint enough you will see a change.

Nonetheless, good luck.

DanielleG4
Posts: 129

Posted:

What I’m saying is the HOA in my community says it was escalated. They sent a warning and should have fined her. But a lot of the ppl on this forum say that the HOA doesn’t usually interfere between neighbor disputes, in this instance noise

LetA (Nevada)
Posts: 2,670

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By DanielleG4 on 08/18/2021 1:33 PM
What I’m saying is the HOA in my community says it was escalated. They sent a warning and should have fined her. But a lot of the ppl on this forum say that the HOA doesn’t usually interfere between neighbor disputes, in this instance noise

Get a Ring Video doorbell camera. This way you will have rock solid evidence to support your claim. Document EVERYTHING. Sounds a lot like retaliation. Have you visited with your local prosecutors office? There are laws that protect people from retaliation.

MaxB4
Posts: 3,501

Posted:

All this for a lousy napkin?

AugustinD
Posts: 3,679

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By LetA on 08/18/2021 5:10 PM
Get a Ring Video doorbell camera. This way you will have rock solid evidence to support your claim. Document EVERYTHING. Sounds a lot like retaliation. Have you visited with your local prosecutors office? There are laws that protect people from retaliation.

LetA, is any of what you posted above intended as sarcasm?

LetA (Nevada)
Posts: 2,670

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By AugustinD on 08/19/2021 8:33 AM

LetA, is any of what you posted above intended as sarcasm?

Little bit of both I guess, but when it comes down to it, I was able to use video surveillance showing my nextdoor neighbors kid tossing fireworks at the side of my garage and breaking branches off my tree.

MarshallT (New York)
Posts: 407

Posted:

As frustrating as this is, there isn't much the association could do about this particular incident. If she continues to be noisy, continue to document and send evidence to the board. If the HOA allows for it (and depending on the type of home you live in), you may consider installing a security camera to keep an eye on things when you aren't around.

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