RitaS4, many people are uncomfortable with board members who are related to each other. But even if you were husband-and-wife, there's nothing in the Florida Statutes that prohibit that in an HOA. The Condo statute prohibits members of the same household from serving together on the board, but the HOA statute has no such limitation. With that said, you are 2 people who own 2 separate homes and, even in a condo, it's perfectly fine for the both of you to be on the board.
It sounds like you've got a real situation on your hands. First things first, DO NOT RESIGN. If you're interested in making positive change and are committeed to it, resigning is the worst thing you could possibly do.
I'd start at the top: verify your corporate status is active at the FL Secretary of State's website at
http://search.sunbiz.org/Inquiry/CorporationSearch/ByName. Make sure the HOA has been filing Annual Reports.
Then make sure you have copies of your current governing documents: Articles of Incorporation, Declaration of Covenants (aka CC&Rs), and Bylaws.
Ask for a copy of the current management company contract. Every homeowner has the right to see that, not just board members. Then ask for copies of the monthly financial statements for the last 12 months.
I'd start with those.