Do you ever just want to give up and resign?

I'm mostly just super frustrated with a situation with my board at the moment but do you ever run into situations where you just want to throw in the towel and walk away from your board? What keeps you on the board and keeps you going in these situations?

I was originally not going to run for a second term at the end of three years - here I am nine years later... I'm kind of thinking I just need a break.

My theory is that there is ALWAYS a "bigger fish". Meaning you want to make bigger fish to take over. Your job is to do the job but also inspire others to step up as well. For me, no one was really wanting to be on the board. The President was con-man scumbag. No one showed up to meetings. When was "done" being President there was nearly 30 people at the election meeting and nearly not enough board positions available.

Change your approach now that you want your "break". Find someone to encourage and take under your wing. It's time to pass on your knowledge and experience. Rest your head in someone else's hands you think will carry things upward.

Resigning lets THEM win.

Like a business, part of the job of management is to search for and train new folks to fill the jobs ... this is often overlooked on Boards.

I'm currently Director/Secretary on a Board for a 189 single family self-managed association that is a bit age demographically challenged - I don't live in this neighborhood. -have rentals there. They desperately needed help. This is the voluntary HOA community I have posted about previously. I like helping them - they seem to appreciate it.

I'm also currently Director/President on a Board for 314 single family professionally-managed association that is, generally speaking, more apathetic than the self-managed smaller community. I live in this community. The most exasperating thing is the professional manager - not his staff (they are pretty darn good), but the professional manager himself. He has been aggressively working to increase his business base, but is ignoring his current business. And, he is the best in our area. I've been so exasperated with him I have even tried go interest a rental management company in the area to expand their business into HOA management - with my investment. No interest, yet. Generally, I get little support from the other board members - no pushback - just little support. Been trying to set up standing committees (fines, welcome, etc), and other processes - hard work!

I stay on the BOD to hopefully protect us from Aholes getting on the BOD.

Been there, done that, bought the movie soundtrack AND the t-shirt!

Chris, I was on my board for 10 years before I stepped down 5 years ago, and the reason I stayed is probably the same as yours – you see what needs to be done and if you aren’t there, it may not happen. At least the subject can stay active as long as you’re there to bring it up. On the other hand, I was doing a lot (newsletter editor, represented the community at local CAI events, treasurer), and I realized it wasn’t fun anymore and more of a job that I didn’t like at all. I also came to realize that one reason no one did anything is that they figured I’d jump in and do it – and they were right. That wasn’t their fault – I should have been more willing to step aside and let people find their own way. If it didn’t get done, it didn’t get done, and they would have to see and feel the consequences before they could change.

Faye also hit on a good point - too many board members don’t think long term because they figure by the time the caca hits the fan they’ll be long gone, forgetting the future has a tendency to arrive a lot sooner than one realizes. Part of the reason board members should do what’s necessary is because most homeowners DON’T think beyond their own unit or home, and since there are common areas to care for, someone has to. It’s similar to many other things in life.

That’s why Mark and Melissa have it right – one day, your time will end for whatever reason, so it’s important to teach people how things work and set a good example, so don't be afraid to step down if you really feel you need a break. A lot of board members go rouge because they think no one can do it better and freak when someone comes forward with a novel approach. However, if you don’t get out of the way and give them a chance to learn, what will happen when you’re gone and no one knows how to do anything?

In the meantime, try not to take things too personal (something else I had to learn through hard experience). Years ago I read a book on negotiation and the best thing I got out of it was the mantra to “concentrate on the problem, not the people”. Learn to say no and set priorities – just because people are yelling doesn’t mean you have a crisis – sometimes you just have to wait because the board cannot and shouldn’t make a slapdash decision on serious issues. I used to tell people if you have a better idea and are willing to work to put it in action, come forth and good luck! Finally, listen to your psyche – if this really is getting too much, there’s nothing wrong with skipping a meeting. Sometimes you need a mental and emotional break.

The first year serving on an HOA board is the worst. You find out how little you know (running your own business is a whole different thing from running an HOA). You find out how little your fellow board members know (or sometimes want to know). You find out how apathetic most homeowners are. You come across the few homeowners - and every community has them - who actively try to belittle and undermine everything the board does. If you're not on the verge of quitting during that first year, I'd say that you're not paying attention.

But it does get better after that. You'll learn the ropes. You'll develop techniques to deal with the chronic complainers and other roadblocks. You'll learn not to take everything personally.

What helped me:

* I realized that I was not put on the planet to protect others from their own mistakes. I can only do what I can do.

* I developed a thick skin. I don't allow unpleasant people to live rent-free inside my head.

* I understood that HOAs are usually underfunded, and that tends to result in short-term decision making (like people who live from paycheck to paycheck).

* I accepted the fact that nothing happens as quickly as I'd like, and this is due largely to the way HOAs have to be run. Even the best and most responsive boards and community managers have to go through competitive bidding and voting at board meetings. This takes time.

* I learned our CC&Rs and bylaws backwards, forwards and inside out. If a board member didn't want to do something, I could quote chapter and verse on why it needed to happen.

* I was always willing to walk away from a problem that I couldn't solve.

Serving on the board isn't for everyone, and nobody should feel bad if they need to step back from it. You can only do what you can do.

one solution for the 'fed up' (if one is old):

pull out any and all equity using a 'high appraisal' lender and a 'reverse mortgage'

live your life

laugh

be happy

walk away whenever you want

flock 'em all, all but six, after they bury you, flock them too

Apropos a 55+'senior community' :

Eventually everyone dies so the board will eventually change to ANOTHER senile incompetent demented retiree.

I feel like resigning right now.

I am a type A for sure. And I do have a direct way of saying things..(in texas they call it rude) lol.. just kidding.

I am between a rock and hard place..

we have a 9 member board. only 2 board members actually are resident owners..

the other resident owner doesn't seem to really be involved.

It's a constant struggle for me to try and convince the board that the common areas need to abide by our documents. The president of the board has spent a lot of time on things, but he doesn't live here..

It's a constant struggle between myself and the incompetent property manager. The president convinced the rest of the board that only he should give directions to the manager. but he has twisted that to mean only he can talk to the property manager.

I'm just sick of it. I just want paid employees to be accountable.. If they say that something is being done.. and weeks go by and it's not done.. . I end up losing it. because i've been lied to for 4 weeks.!
forget it,i'm rambling.

Sometimes you do need to vent and let it all out, so if that's what you need to do on this board, do the damned thing! Beats keeping over from your blood pressure going to infinity and beyond or doing yourself into a stupor.

If this president wants to be the primary contact between the board and property manager, you need to hold HIM accountable remind him constantly that HE's the one who's behaving as if he's the end all and be all. If you want to act like that, you also take all the blame when things go sour.

As for you, keep asking your question s whenever you want - your president is only one board member and has only one vote, just as you do. On the other hand, you said you're a type A person and sometimes those folks have A hard time because they behave as if only they know how to get things done and end up alienating everyone else. Maybe you're getting upset over things that really as important as you think they should be.

So, check your own behavior. Perhaps suggest an executive session where everyone has a way as to what each other does really well or not. Shut and listen to what people say. I'm sure everyone there can learn a few things about working together in a group. Better yet, consider having a disinterested third party come in to moderate the discussion and then help everyone come up with something he or she will work on to become a more effective board member.