How to Quell Nay Sayers?

Started by NicoleO5 • 10 replies • 601 views

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NicoleO5 (California)
Posts: 61

Posted:

Hello all!!
I have been in our community for years. I have served on our board more often then not.

We are currently working on major project, pool repairs, roofs and common areas walkways and leaking pipes. Lots going on like most HOAS!

My question....And maybe this is t so uncommon like I think.

Most owners are supportive of the board. However, we seem to have a peanut gallery that appears to our meetings a a few times a year.
The goal of thesee people are always seem to mke the board look bad or belittle are actions. We have invited these folks multiple times to join up with us of course they do not. . I’d like to know how do other HOAs promote what is happening to quell the illusion of no movement on major approvals and actions?

MarkM19 (Texas)
Posts: 1,459

Posted:

Nicole,
Every person who will read this note is shaking their heads in agreement with you. Guess what it happens in almost all HOA's. The only thing to do is give them the time to speak. Let them say anything they want and then thank them for their suggestions. Then go back to work and do the job you were elected to do. I have a saying that I try to live by "Don't let People Rent Space in your Head" if you do you will focus on the wrong things and you will not be doing the job you were elected to do. When the next election takes place if you are on the ballot you will be re elected or not. As you mentioned many of the nasty people don't want to do your job they just want to judge you without the facts.

ND (PA)
Posts: 792

Posted:

I suggest being your own advocate because nobody else will. Communication with owners is key. You can't wait for projects to come to fruition to let owners know what has been accomplished. Because there is often lots of invisible (to owners) work that goes into projects, most people don't have a clue that the board is busy even when visibly, things don't seem to be happening. Keep owners informed about all things going on . . . projects being planned, projects undergoing proposal submission/review, projects at various stages of execution. Think about newsletters, webpages, more frequent owner meetings, or other ways to engage and involve owners. Solicit, utilize and respond to feedback and input from owners. Keep things positive.

Also don't give naysayers the validation they are seeking by engaging with them and trying to directly respond to things they say. Negate their arguments by pointing out positives or indirectly respond to a point they try to make with tangible proof that the opposite is actually true. In time, when naysayers are ignored and don't receive validation, they go away or succeed at ostracizing themselves.

CathyA3 (Ohio)
Posts: 6,299

Posted:

Our attorney refers to these folks as "vocational dissidents". They thrive on conflict and controversy, and as you pointed out, their only interest is in the drama they create. So... don't give it to them.

What we did:

* All of our responses to a vocational dissident are bland, boring, brief and factual. We don't give them any opportunity to disagree or argue.

* In board meetings we simply thank them for their comments, with no further discussion. We remain calm and avoid getting drawn into any back and forth with them. Easier said than done, I know, but it does get easier with practice. And the hard part is that they *may* have a legitimate issue - you have to listen enough to weed out anything that needs attention.

* In time, they will damage their own credibility, and we help them do so by being competent and completely transparent. You're playing to the rest of the community, and this will help because you're removing the audience that the complainers are looking for. If this seems heartless, remember that the complainers are interfering with your ability to do your job and discouraging others from running for the board. If allowed to run out of control, they poison a community. So use all *appropriate* means to do an end run around them.

All of the board members and the property manager should have a game plan so that the complainers are handled in a consistent, drama-free way. They do seem to simmer down a bit after a couple years of not getting the emotional explosions that they're looking for. However, we never relax our guard around them because they don't suddenly undergo personality change.

KerryL1 (California)
Posts: 14,550

Posted:

Welcome to the forum. I see many fine ideas here, Nicole. ND resonates with me most because that's exactly what's going on in my urban high rise HOA of 200 condos.

The board where I served fr many years until late '18 had become too secretive in the past couple of years, especially around a huge project. They weren't disseminating enough info for Owners to know the plusses & minuses of this huge project. In addition, we just finished a 2-year exterior paint job that was much more intrusive than one might think. I didn't seek reelection in Oct. because of the board's refusal to share more info with Owners and communicate better with us all. We only rec'd monthly "President's Messages" in the newsletter, but a lot of that was hyperbolic and misleading.

We owners started a group to urge the board to give us all more info. We urged them to hold a Town Hall meeting before signing contracts for this work that'd consume 25% of our reserves and involve a lot of intrusion into our units. We've spoken out at the last two board meetings, including last night, politely and without attacking anyone, asking for more transparency.

The Board is behaving civilly at meetings, but has kept the door closed on releasing info that would be useful & reassuring to owners.

When I was on the board, couple of years ago, we had about three women who'd attend, sit together and buzz, buzz during the meeting. They'd also take turns with unfriendly questions during Open forum. We made a Meeting Conduct sheet that goes on the back of agendas that's handed out before the meetings begin. It's extremely useful and is still used today.

During the 2-year paint job, we had an easel in both of our lobbies with a fine diagram of the high rise that was being worked on and dates that painting was happening on certain faces (we know it's "elevations," but residents understand "faces").

JohnC46 (South Carolina)
Posts: 14,265

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By MarkM19 on 02/27/2019 10:59 AM
Nicole,
Every person who will read this note is shaking their heads in agreement with you. Guess what it happens in almost all HOA's. The only thing to do is give them the time to speak. Let them say anything they want and then thank them for their suggestions. Then go back to work and do the job you were elected to do. I have a saying that I try to live by "Don't let People Rent Space in your Head" if you do you will focus on the wrong things and you will not be doing the job you were elected to do. When the next election takes place if you are on the ballot you will be re elected or not. As you mentioned many of the nasty people don't want to do your job they just want to judge you without the facts.

Sound advice.

JimC23 (Nevada)
Posts: 13

Posted:

I agree, lots of good advice here with those certain individuals we have all encountered. My favorite phrase is ''Thank you. We'll take it under advisement".

RichardP13 (California)
Posts: 3,868

Posted:

As a Board member, a Board president, manager of association, I have encountered my share of Nay Sayers. One line that has always worked, We would like you to form a committee, prepare a charter and return to this Board your recommendations to make things better. SILENCE, and no further comments.

CathyA3 (Ohio)
Posts: 6,299

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By RichardP13 on 02/27/2019 5:00 PM
As a Board member, a Board president, manager of association, I have encountered my share of Nay Sayers. One line that has always worked, We would like you to form a committee, prepare a charter and return to this Board your recommendations to make things better. SILENCE, and no further comments.

I love this suggestion. The one thing that the complainers never, ever do is productive work.

GeorgeS21 (Florida)
Posts: 3,808

Posted:

I always ask the naysayer what their previous involvement has been - make them say it in public meeting. Some have background of helping, but frankly, most don't. I say:
- Mr Smith, as always, thank you for your interest - you have been vocal in expressing your views in the past quite often.
- You've lived here for quite awhile, has this been an issue when you were on the Board previously? While on a Committee? Working on a special project for the community?
- Oh ... well, then, perhaps you would willing to assist us in better understanding the issue by working with a couple more folks to research the issue and recommend some specific action - of course, we would need a written assessment and options for action - can you do this for the community?
- Oh ... well, then, thank you for your comments. (Nice response)
- Oh ... well, you are here, as usual, to simply complain, not to offer to help in any way? (medium response)
- Of ... well, Mr Smith, this, again, sounds like your usual non-factual complaints and continuing lack of interest in understanding the facts and process required to be followed by our Bylaws, CC&Rs and state statutes. Further, your failure to offer to help makes you a "constant complainer."

BarbaraT1 (Texas)
Posts: 821

Posted:

Quote:

*standing ovation*

I also encourage complainers to form or join a committee and shockingly never hear from them again.

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