HOA Board Presedent having an affair with a vendor

Started by SallyM1 • 21 replies • 1269 views

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SallyM1 (Florida)
Posts: 3

Posted:

Our HOA BOD President has been having an affair with a vendor. She has also been forwarding this vendor communication about another BOD member.
Not only is she a home wrecker, but also I believe such relationship is a violation of a BOD code of conduct. To whom can we report her for unethical behavior as a BOD member?

DouglasK1 (Florida)
Posts: 2,046

Posted:

The rest of the board.

Escaped former treasurer and director of a self managed association.

SallyM1 (Florida)
Posts: 3

Posted:

Is there a protocol for that? I do not have the other BOD members' contact information to contact them in writing.

DouglasK1 (Florida)
Posts: 2,046

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By SallyM1 on 10/09/2017 10:48 AM
Is there a protocol for that? I do not have the other BOD members' contact information to contact them in writing.

I don't think there is a specific protocol, but the rest of the board is in the best position to deal with this. I'm not sure how you would find contact info, have you looked at sunbiz.org (all Florida corporations) to see if if the officers are listed there? Officers are most often board members, although that is not required in all associations. Non officer board members may or may not be listed.

Beyond that there really isn't a state office or organization that provides enforcement or ombudsman services for HOAs. If you are a Condo association then the state DBPR might be of help.

You mentioned a board code of conduct, does your association have a written one? Can you provide it for review?

The final recourse would be to sue, if you feel that improper actions have happened. The relationship isn't necessarily an improper action. Paying more to this vendor than you would to others for the same service might be. Talk to an attorney for an idea of your chances.

Escaped former treasurer and director of a self managed association.

MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836

Posted:

What is it of anyone's business? It's a HOA. Who is the homewrecker? The person who tells about the suspected affair or the person doing the affair? I say stay out of the business. If you don't like the vendor then find another one. Don't like the President? Have a vote for removal. However, I would NOT spread rumors one is having an affair as reasons for removal.

Former HOA President

TimB4 (Tennessee)
Posts: 21,059

Posted:

1) it sounds like there is a personal issue between you and the President, otherwise, I don't see why this issue would bother you.

2) If the relationship started after the contract was awarded, there is no real conflict of interest.

3) If the relationship started prior to the contract being awarded, and the relationship was disclosed to the Board (not the membership, but the Board) then there is no conflict of interest.

4) Even if there is a conflict of interest, if the contract awarded is in line with other bids, then there isn't an actual issue, only a perceived issue.

5) I suspect that the code of ethics you speak of is associated with your governing documents (vs. FL statute). If this is correct, your issue is internal and you need to contact the rest of the Board or attend a meeting and bring it up there. However, to be polite, you should send a letter.

If you know who your board members are, you can send letters to their home addresses.

KerryL1 (California)
Posts: 14,550

Posted:

Since FL requires open board meetings, you could take several copies of a letter you write to an open board meeting and give them to the directors. I assume you believe the vendor's company is getting special favors due to the affair, right?

But remember the entire board must vote on any aspects of the contract with this vendor, UNLESS they stupidly have given all power to the prez re: contracts.

If you have a property mgr (PM), how you contact your board is info the PM will have. Often a memo would go to the board via the PM

But I'm curious to know how YOU know the prez is giving info about another director to this vendor? What kind of info or communication?

I don't know if FL requires that boards have a Code of Ethics. Our HOA has one, but it doesn't include any restrictions against affairs with vendors. Our vendors, though, often have rules that their employees may not, say, socialize with directors.

GenoS (Florida)
Posts: 4,276

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By SallyM1 on 10/09/2017 10:48 AM
Is there a protocol for that? I do not have the other BOD members' contact information to contact them in writing.

All owners have a right to a membership roster containing mailing addresses for all. You don't have a list like that to contact the other directors?

Having said that, unless the president is receiving some sort of financial benefit from the vendor then, seemly though it may be, it's really nobody's business. What does your BOD code of conduct say exactly?

There is no state agency or office that's set up to receive complaints about unethical behavior. The rest of the board is who needs to take action, if any is warranted.

AugustinD
Posts: 5,144

Posted:

I agree this is unacceptable. I happen to think it is members' business. Your HOA is legally a corporation. Favoritism and confusion looms, or the appearance of same. Or contractual favoritism and confusion are already occurring. Have you considered a private exchange with this director, where you explain your concerns? You could hear her out then ask her to either step down or disclose to all this relationship. Then you need to be willing to run for the board. All these actions take a lot of backbone. I doubt anyone will do anything about it.

GenoS (Florida)
Posts: 4,276

Posted:

There's nothing inherently illegal about officers and directors of corporations cavorting with people in other businesses, whether they be customers, clients, vendors, contractors or business partners. In the business world it happens all the time. Fiduciary duty requires that one make decisions that are in the interest of the entire corporation and not for the benefit of a few. I still maintain it's nobody else's business absent any evidence that something is amiss with a contract or that there's improper favoritism going on.

AugustinD
Posts: 5,144

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By GenoS on 10/09/2017 6:34 PM
There's nothing inherently illegal about officers and directors of corporations cavorting with people in other businesses, whether they be customers, clients, vendors, contractors or business partners. In the business world it happens all the time. Fiduciary duty requires that one make decisions that are in the interest of the entire corporation and not for the benefit of a few. I still maintain it's nobody else's business absent any evidence that something is amiss with a contract or that there's improper favoritism going on.

Is there something "inherently illegal" in informing members of this affair?

It seems likely that no illegal acts by anyone are occurring. This leaves readers here the option to opine on what is in the best interests of the corporation. To me, members knowing about the affair is in the best interests of the corporation. I see no slippery slope in disclosing what many feel is a "private matter" to members.

If the HOA President is truly competent, it won't be a barrier to her winning election again.

GenoS (Florida)
Posts: 4,276

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By AugustinD on 10/09/2017 7:29 PM
Is there something "inherently illegal" in informing members of this affair?

No, not at all. I just think it's nobody's business what people do in their personal lives. If there were some reason to suspect something untoward going on then it would be an issue to deal with.

MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836

Posted:

We don't know if that person is having an affair or not. Plus the issue isn't the affair but the perceived situation with favoritism/giving information.

Let me tell you something... Years ago I had an insanely jealous boyfriend. So much so I wasn't allowed to order lunch at work to include a male co-worker. He would berate me for days on end. Due to my position I worked with a married male engineer. We worked on projects together and we joked he was my "work husband". I had no interest in him romantically at all. My female boss whom did not like me hinted we were having an affair. It was an interesting Christmas party as she insinuated to his wife and my boyfriend. It wasn't true. My boyfriend was abusive. Let's just say I spent months explaining the bruises as "accidents".

So be very careful. I could have been killed for something that wasn't true. Your words carry weight and harm. Especially if you don't know the whole situation. My aunt gave me the best advice ever for a cheating partner. Never ever let them tell you they are cheating. The only reason they tell you is to relieve their guilt. Your the innocent person who doesn't need to be hurt. Let them live with it not you.

Former HOA President

AugustinD
Posts: 5,144

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By GenoS on 10/09/2017 7:57 PM

Posted By AugustinD on 10/09/2017 7:29 PM
Is there something "inherently illegal" in informing members of this affair?

No, not at all. I just think it's nobody's business what people do in their personal lives. If there were some reason to suspect something untoward going on then it would be an issue to deal with.

I think it's worthwhile to ponder why the law says public figures have less privacy than non-public figures. Similarly, why is the bar for legal slander much higher when the target is a public figure? I believe the reasons are that what the public figure does affects people far more widely than what a non-public figure does. The courts want the marketplace of ideas to work its magic especially when the stakes are high, like when people's pocketbooks are being affected. If I recall correctly, HOA directors are generally seen as public figures.

If this HOA President were incredibly competent, I would not have a problem voting for her again, but I would also let it be known I was disappointed in her judgment re not disclosing her involvement with a vendor. On the third hand, I would tell anyone arguing that she should not be on the board that they needed to volunteer to run for the board.

SallyM1 (Florida)
Posts: 3

Posted:

They did stupidly have given up the power to the president. I’m this vendor’s soon to be ex-wife’s best friend. Someone clued the wife in about the affair; she confronted the husband and demanded to see all texts and email communication with this woman. Apparently, the prez has been badmouthing all former and present BOD members in those emails and sharing a lot of info that should be kept confidential. Unfortunately, I did not find anything in the BOD Code of Conduct in regard to the situation. IMHO, Board members should be held to higher moral standards, because they are public figures who represent the HOA.

MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836

Posted:

Had a feeling this had a personal connection. I am not sure how valid that communications is as not proven to be between HOA and vendor. Sounds more like a personal conversation between the 2. Otherwise would not know how one would have access to such communications.

The ex-president modified my emails to make it look like I had called some members names. He took a personal email of mine talking about someone else NOT in the HOA to put other's name in it as he pleased. I was confronted by a member and discovered what he had done. It was just another manipulation move he tried. I just let the truth speak and expose the fact that this was a PRIVATE conversation shared between us OUTSIDE the HOA.

So I just see some people with hurt feelings here than actual code of ethics issues.

Former HOA President

JohnB83 (South Carolina)
Posts: 124

Posted:

82.7%

TimB4 (Tennessee)
Posts: 21,059

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By SallyM1 on 10/10/2017 2:13 AM

They did stupidly have given up the power to the president.

Trust me, there is no real power in being an HOA President.
Only a lot of work and lots of phone calls from residents.

Quote:

Posted By SallyM1 on 10/10/2017 2:13 AM

I’m this vendor’s soon to be ex-wife’s best friend.

My honest opinion -

STAY OUT OF THE DIVORCE.

Support your friend by being there and listening.
Do not give advice.
Do not offer to help in any other way but being there and listening.

KerryL1 (California)
Posts: 14,550

Posted:

Your HOA's problem is quite large if the prez can do anything she wishes with no resistance from the Board. You're saying, in other words, that the prez can enter into new contracts, say with this vendor however she pleases???

This could causes your fellow owners to pay more that they should. Perhaps the other directors should know that THEY can be held accountable for any favoritism practiced by the prez that they ignored. Our any revelation of executive session matters.

If the Board is so intimidated by the president, they won't kick her out of the office of president, there's little you can do about this.

MichelleK5 (New York)
Posts: 161

Posted:

Have you personally seen the texts where she's badmouthing the BOD, and revealing private HOA info. to this vendor? Or is it word of mouth from an angry, cheated on wife?

Right now, you sounds like an angry neighbor who's getting involved in someone else's marriage. Stay out of it.

When things settle, and you can prove that the president did what your cheated on friend is claiming, (and even that, while unethical, isn't illegal) then bring it to other HOA members, get new people to run for the board, and vote her out.

But right now, this all sounds like a vendetta against the president because she's sleeping with your friends husband. And by the way, she's not the homewrecker, the husband is.

JohnC46 (South Carolina)
Posts: 14,265

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By MichelleK5 on 10/10/2017 9:56 AM
Have you personally seen the texts where she's badmouthing the BOD, and revealing private HOA info. to this vendor? Or is it word of mouth from an angry, cheated on wife?

Right now, you sounds like an angry neighbor who's getting involved in someone else's marriage. Stay out of it.

When things settle, and you can prove that the president did what your cheated on friend is claiming, (and even that, while unethical, isn't illegal) then bring it to other HOA members, get new people to run for the board, and vote her out.

But right now, this all sounds like a vendetta against the president because she's sleeping with your friends husband. And by the way, she's not the homewrecker, the husband is.

Well said.

JohnB83 (South Carolina)
Posts: 124

Posted:

O ~ M ~ G

SEX

SEX IN FLORIDA

The HORROR

Now, Peyton Place would be understandable ...........................

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