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JosephF7 (Washington)
Posts: 1
Posted:
I'm in a really messy situation and need advice, or maybe just some therapy to get through this.

In an effort to get to the point I'm going to make statements that the details to substantiate will take over so please ask for more details where they may be missing.

I live in a 12 unit building that has been self managed for 40 years until recently. In my 8 years here I've been responsible for probably 95% of the work that is done. The entire building has been updated inside and out in those 8 years. Some work I've done myself, large stuff I hired contractors. Some things I billed for my time and some I did not. To update the interior we've spent about 25k since I moved in. To give some perspective, a building next door that is same age with similar layout spend 50k last year to update it's interior in one big project.

Two years a unit was sold and the owner rented it out for a year and then his daughter decided to move in. Shortly after she began hosting Airbnb in the upstairs of her two level unit and once I realized this was happening put a stop to it. I live in the city and in a very popular neighborhood. I've prepared tax returns for individuals who made 60k with similar accommodations in my area. So, I became enemy number 1.

Somehow my neighbors don't care or are oblivious to this owners problem with being honest. I've called him out on several things the last couple years he was obviously not being upfront about. But, to my dismay they made him presifent. Compared to me he's very calm, cool, and collected. By contrast I am animated and passionate. I always tell people to offer a stronger argument than me if you want to win a debate. Nobody has in 8 years.

So, as president since February he's decided that I no longer should be doing any of the maintenance around the property. He hired a management company who he is friends with and everyone is being charged a flat fee to cover this expense. In an email I pointed out the proper rate for each unit based on %value as outlined in our declaration and he did not like me challenging him. He brought me to court on harassment charges claiming I harassed his daughter, his wife who I've never met and him. Obviously I won but he's done major damage to my credibility.

In fact he went so low in order to get this in front of a judge and stated my next step was likely to escalate into violence and implied he believes I'm on drugs and own a weapon. I didn't know this until after I had been to court and had an opportunity to read through his filing. Then truth is just by being granted a hearing reflects negatively on me and adding in the drugs and weapons allegations put it over the totality several of my neighbors.

I'm beyond frustrated. No-one responds to my inquiries about anything, I've not been provided with a GL for over 9 months, I've sent probably 30 separate requests for records none of which are answered. Our landscaping hasn't been touched since last year in October. Finally I did it myself took me 4 days and cost me 175 in dump fees. This year alone I've spent out of pocket 400 on building needs.

Since this began my blog pressure almost immediately spiked and hasn't come back down so my doc temporarily put me on no meds. I've been to the emergency room because the stress has given me panic attacks, and I forgot to mention that I have a a pat u I tar you tumor causing chaos with my hormones that I haven't even followed up with my doctor on to begin treatment because I've become consumed with this guy and the nasty things he's done and said about me.

It's total nightmare for me because I can't stand living in a dump. Our fence is falling down, I have water damage in my ceiling because our roof Neda to be replaced, our pavement need to be pressure washed because the moss is slick when wet. Every new thing regardless of how small just amplifies the rest. They just had a meeting off sight yesterday but never told me there was an owners meeting. I just had returned 6 months of my how checks cause I prepay so I'm not late. I don't know what to do or if this is even illegal. And if it isn't, I don't know what's illegal about it and what laws are being broken.

Sorry for the long post I know this isn't a forum to vent which I feel I've done and haven't been able to get at what it is I'm asking. How do I make it stop? How do I get this person and his manager friend to not sidestep my right to be communicated with and get my valid concerns addressed? I don't like being a victim, I thinknthats why this has tripped me up so much because I've dealt powerless thus far.
MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836
Posted:
Not everyone is going to agree with my advice. However, we are responsible for some parts of our situation. We either be victims or set up ourselves to be victims. I feel there is way more to this story as we are hearing only one side. Not saying the person or person(s) your dealing with are not crazy or have issues. Just how we tend to perceive what the problem is with that person.

My problem with me is NOT your problem with me. If that makes sense. Sometimes need to step back and look at how you are taking part in this situation. Is doing all of this work benefitting you or everyone? Do you think the work you do is benefitting a large majority? Is the largest majority going with the President or do they even care?

I had a huge with our ex-president. He also told lies and got the police involved in made up situations. So I do have an understanding about such things. It did stress me out as well. However, I learned a few things. Knowing this person is going to be a liar and scumbag, I don't have to point it out to anyone. The truth of a person comes out. Whether or not your there to tell it. It's best not to. Let them do what they do and let the pieces fall where they will. Lift your head up and be you.

Former HOA President
GenoS (Florida)
Posts: 4,276
Posted:
I'm in full agreement with Melissa on this. If he took you to court on a bogus complaint and lost, I don't see how that damaged your credibility. If your fellow owners aren't up in arms about the situation then maybe it's time to re-evaluate how much you do for the place. Maybe it's time to focus your time, energy and resources somewhere else where your efforts will be appreciated.
GwenG (Florida)
Posts: 669
Posted:
I reluctantly agree with the others' comments. Your situation reflects the dark underbelly of HOA/Condo living. You are the scapegoat for this hostile member and an example to others what can happen to THEM if they challenge the status quo or authority du jour. This member did accomplish the hiring of a Management Company and, is no doubt, Top Dog. You have been replaced and the Top Dog is aggressively pursuing the superior status. Your help is no longer needed or welcome.

This is, unfortunately, born of the Association model of governance which allows amatuers to hold power over their neighbors. This is a situation that cannot be won from the outside because all the advantages go to the holder of the purse strings and the person who claims the prize most aggressively. This is "Association Survivor" and players must "Outwit, Outplay and Outlast" their opponents. Sometimes that means the "dirtiest player", the one who finds the most immunity idols or forms the strongest alliances. Your tribe has voted you out by their lack of support.

Your situation, IMO, needs be be addressed from inside yourself and you must be clear-eyed. Get some perspective from disinterested parties. I would start with a neighbor you are friendly with and trust and ask them to honestly evaluate the situation. You said you might need therapy and I would not disagree that a disinterested party to discuss your life situation with might give you some relief.

Like marital problems, there is NEVER just one at-fault party. Your role and input into your ditch might have been benign but there is a contribution. You need to own your part to start processing the big picture and start resolution of your emotional turmoil.

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