Board Members and Dementia

Are you a medical doctor that is qualified to diagnose dementia?

Dementia is pretty easy to spot and always becomes more pronounced over time.

The first clue is when the person asks the same question repeatedly. My mother suffered from dementia; when we visited her at the nursing home she would always ask if we had taken the train to get there. The first few times she would ask, I would assure her that we had taken the train even though we actually had driven from our home a few miles away. Eventually I would give her a different answer, such as telling her that we drove or that we flew. Never once did she notice that the answers to her question had changed.

Since dementia has few physical symptoms I am not certain what kind of "medical doctor" would be qualified to make a diagnosis. From what I have seen, if there is a question a diagnosis is normally made by a neuropsychologist.

Gentlemen! Gentlemen! How about some helpful advice if you're able to come up with any?? Move? when the OP is late 70s early 80s? Oh, sure it's possible, but...

I don't know if I can, but I 'll give it a shot.

First, do you have a property mgr. to help, Linda?

Do you have an HOA attorney to consult?? to unseat a director without an ower vote, I believe you have to go through the courts in CA.

If the person is doing no harm can you wait till his/her term is up?

Have you taken the person aside and asked for a resignation?

You may need to write a newsletter item or send a letter to the owners saying that the Board needs new volunteers as:

"more than one director will retire in the not-to-distant future. If there are no replacements, our HOA all be forced to go into receivership where an attorney will run our affairs and charge us huge fees to do so."

Before you consider such a letter, visit davisstirling.com, Main Menu, Receivership.

I do think other posters will have some ideas for you.

Nope, not a medical doctor, but I have quite a bit of experience with dementia and can say it's pretty evident that something is amiss. I knew this would be a sensitive topic - I work with the elderly in other areas of my life and deal with this regularly and am quite experienced with it. On the other hand, this is frustrating. I can't move because I don't live there. We own 3 townhomes in this community. I can honestly say it is being run very professional via volunteers. Saying that, the volunteers are mostly me and my husband.

Anyway - back to the topic. Thanks, Kerry - you always offer good advice. I've been looking into property management for a couple of years. Initially, the-then Board President wanted nothing to do with it and put the fear of God into the homeowners saying their dues were going to skyrocket if we had professional management. I'm still working on getting beyond this mindset, and unfortunately, when the majority of the community are elderly windows and seniors, that's a hard mindset to change.

The theme to our HOA was "For newly weds and nearly deads..." So had to deal with a few elderly people myself in our HOA. I did have an elderly board member who had onset dementia and other issues. She was an ex-IRS agent and our former treasurer. We had decided awhile back to go with a professional service for that provided by an existing owner.

She was still very interested in the operations of the HOA despite the issues. I respected that and often took the time to walk and talk with her. I learned from her a lot by just discussing the issues. She may or not recall the issue at hand, but letting me talk about it gave me insight.

Sometimes one needs a "sounding board" and the elderly members offer that and some wisdom... I find the older I get the less I am likely to expand on issues. I found older people know how to teach us to communicate with fewer words and less stresses. It's easy to ignore or want to get rid of someone who we feel could/would hinder our decision making. However, it may be the fact that they do, provides us with the insight we need...

From the sound of it, there isn't enough bodies to make up a Board, thus without at least three willing Board members, not somehow disabled, a management company does no good.

Bruce, sorry to hear about the experience with your wife. I'd like to clarify - please read my post. I also said "long/short term memory issue". I'm not diagnosing anyone, let's be clear on that. There are memory issues and confusion at hand though. That is very clear.

Reduce the BOD to three. The OP, her hubby, and one so far out of it they cannot remember anything including when meeting. 2 out of 3 is a majority. Run it as you want assuming you do not dump on the old folksa as you seem to be doing.

Good one, JohnC!! Why not??

Linda, do you even have bookkeeper or someone like that who collects dues? or are you completely self-managed?

Are any of the directors able to conduct business, at a board meeting?

I'm disappointed too, Linda, in posters here who usually are much more helpful!

Our board of 7 has 4 embers over 73, including 2 who are 80. all are heard of hearing. Moreover, a newer younger director has a condition where she cannot speak eye loudly.

We have monthly meetings and two meeting ago, we installed mice for each of us. Helps hugely!! Our audience, usually 15-20 also can hear much better too.

What I think you share with many boards is that some directors just aren't effective. We have tw of those an had three till recently. so, I think i't atypical for a minority on the Board to carry the workload.

In CA, as you probably know, you must post an agenda 4 ays in advance of your meetings. Try to make this agenda really clear for your less-effective members.

I'm a horrible typist, Larry. I'm sure your corrections were extremely useful to the O.P. and that you used a great deal of intellectual effort to point them out. At least I try to offer suggestions.

And you, Larry....?

The issue seems to be two fold.

1) A member of the Board seems to have problems remembering. This can become frustrating to affecting deadlines if the individual is asked to do something. The answer to this is easy. Include them in the discussion but don't assign them any work to be done outside of the meeting. If the individual insists on participating with outside work, assign someone else along with them. When their term is up, don't ask them to run as a candidate.

2) Aging membership and concerns of cost increases. Until you get bids, you can't make any decisions. Solict bids for an MC,PM or independent contractor to help out. Once you have bids, the Board can make an informed decision. However, remember that having assistance in the form of a PM/MC doesn't remove the need for a Board. It simply removes some of the day to day tasks from the Board to complete.

INEPT does NOT equal DEMENTED

If truly demented people are directors, my original advice stands.

If merely inept ~ y'all voted them into 'power'.

Linda

As I understand it, you and your husband own 3 units (out of 48), you two do not live there, yet you two are on the BOD? Have I got this correct?

You are free to petition the appropriate court for a Receiver.

Said receiver, while VERY expensive, will get y'all 'on track'.

or

"Don't worry, be happy!"

in the meantime - mortgage your home to the max so that, if need be, you can 'walk away'

ps.
I learned this by living in a 55+ community

That "mortgage" statement you make is ludicrous and what got this country in a gigantic mess.

AND, who, in their right mind would want to do that anyway? Oh wait - I won't answer that.

p.s.

for us 'old folk' it is termed "reverse mortgage"

like after 20 years the government is holding the bag on 247,000 due on an original 95,000 'take out' against a 140,000 value home

but

the senile senior DID get to have cash on hand for 20 years

(as they aged in place with pockets full of cash)

this is actually true and personally known to me (after the fact) due to my position as treasurer and the resulting 'kerfuffle' with HUD on 3 separate homes

so

my above advice advise not only stands but is commonly accepted

Old time FHA mortgage:

3% down and the rest when they catch you

I'm all too familiar with reverse mortgages - in fact, we have several homeowners in our community that rent out their townhomes with a reverse mortgage on it, which is illegal. In fact, they own multiple properties.

I think it's sad that people feel like they're entitled to do things like this.

Linda,

I repeat my SOUND advice.

Anyone disagree?

John Bernabeu