Posted:
Yet,
STILL TOTALLY RELEVANT.
Obviously.
Here's a big surprise: Summer happens every single year, and prior to the summer season, people may haplessly move into a rental not understanding that the HOA documents they are signing are WORLDS apart from the normal CC&R documents they have probably signed before when renting previous residences. Sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, you realize you're trapped in a hell you can't escape from.
It's summer. You have a house that faces west. The sun beats down on it all day, and even in the winter time on a sunny day the walls get warm to the touch. In the summer, you'd swear there was a fire on the other side of the wall. If it's 80 outside, it's 100+ in this place you now spend most of your income on.
You know right away that this is going to be a problem because the gigantic tree right outside the hottest area of your unit is home to at least one hornets nest, and you're allergic to hornets.
So opening those windows is out of the question. You immediately inform the property management company of the problem. After several days, they respond with an e-mail stating that they will not be replacing the screens, nor would they reimburse us for doing so because they are not legally required to provide screens for windows. You're appalled. They were so nice when you were being shown the unit, and now they have just sentenced you to a life in an oven. Within that same week, some anonymous person lets the property management company know that you're using drapes that are out of compliance. They send you an e-mail with the complaint and demand you take them down.
This is baffling and further increases your hatred of this place because you've still got the venetian blinds pulled and cannot see the drapes...unless you were to sit and stare at the windows all day for us to adjust them, and peer in with binoculars to determine the color. Very. Creepy. On the anger side, you're even more livid because the reason you put these curtains up is they are designed to block heat. You're now convinced they care more about the appearance of this place (which by the way - this place is hideous and next to section 8 housing) than the lives of their tenants. You demand to speak to the landlord. You find the law that states they are required to give you the name and contact info of the actual landlord. They tell you they don't have to provide that information.
You throw the RCW at them word for word..... and then silence..... until your actual landlord calls you a week or so later informing you that he's fired that company for doing such a terrible job. He seems nice, and relatively personable. He ribs you in person for being a smoker, but he's a cancer survivor, so you get that he's got a unique perspective on health. Quick sigh of relief. He comes in and says we're fine, but explains that the screen in what happens to be the MOST heat affected room in the unit is not cheap to replace, but he'd be happy to take it out of our rent if we chose to replace it. After we saw the price tag, you came up with alternatives.
You find a good deal on a portable AC unit, and install it. At first it's a tough install....because In the course of doing so, you use a level and realize now that your apartment (all the end units on your side) has actually slowly been sinking into the ground for who knows how long. So it takes a bit of time and patching to get it installed properly without being an eyesore - using cardboard to fill in the gaps temporarily, you know.
Not one day later, there's a knock on the door from a board member. You tell them you know why they are here, and that you have a plan to have it fixed within two days. You fix it as promised, they approve, and that should be the end.
An unusual and rather unexplainable thing happens shortly after this...
My girlfriend's car was missing one morning. We called to inquire, and found out that the HOA had it towed for violating the parking agreement.
This was complete.
and utter.
BS.
My girlfriend was away on business, and I made a POINT of sticking like glue to their stupid policy of not allowing residents to park their cars out front in the three spots reserved for "guests" because she'd already received warnings (also unwarranted) for parking in the same spot too long. They refused to tell us WHO in the HOA demanded it be towed, or provide us any evidence that we had broken the rules. Truth is, I think they just didn't like her car. It wasn't pretty. It was an old beige Mercury Sable with bumperstickers all over it and scuffs and scrapes on the body. Now that she has a "nice family car" (a PT Cruiser), she will often park in the same space after work for days or even weeks on end without a single notice.
sidenote: The sick thing is, the gated parking lot is mostly empty. Residents are restricted to one space per unit. There are more spots than there are units. One really cool thing about our "secured" parking lot is that the gate randomly opens on it's own, and we're in an area ripe with gang activity, prostitutes, a section 8 housing next door, and a tent city three blocks away. Yes. We pay for this privilege. And how dare we try to park close to the building. They have a policy It's rarely enforced. My friend that lives there has had threats of being towed, but she is an owner and as soon as she said she'd file suit if they did, they backed off and jut got...creepy. They would send her pictures in the mail of her own car parked in front of the building. WTF? I digress.
But that slanting thing...right...hmmm...
ohh..... that explains the lack of screens in certain windows.
It also explains the little things you didn't notice at first.... none of the windows seem to open or shut easily....
the venetian blinds pop out of place a year later anytime you try to adjust them....
Then the folding doors for the laundry fall off track and after a few more months, adjusting the track manually isn't even enough to get it put back into place.
Then... your patio door won't lock. Considering the dung heap of a neighborhood we're in, I'm glad we're on the second floor.
At the 1.5 year mark, suddenly you are awoken by your dwelling vibrating and a loud, jackhammer like sound coming from below you outside. Your pictures are rattled off the wall. Your windows seem like they are going to burst. It's 7am. No noise is allowed before 8am! They have made that VERY clear!
You go out on your balcony and see a group of contractors removing the entire patio of the unit directly below yours. Hmm...that's interesting, you think. The next day, they come back. Then you hear some dispute going on between a board member and the lead guy on the contractor team. You can't make out exactly what it is, but it's not good. The contractors leave in a huff. They've put up a scaffolding inches below your patio, and stapled a weighted down bright blue tarp to the thing. Pieces of the patio's railing are strewn about the yard. Over the next year, a new set of contractors will occasionally come out and provide an estimate. A couple even do work on it for a day, and give up. No idea what for sure is going on, but I'd have to guess it has something to do with this side of the building sinking.
Back to that. So, one stormy winter day, you notice the part of the AC unit that vents out the window is getting rattled by the wind. WHOA! You scramble to get it secured. That's when you realize why it was rattling around; the building has sunk so much that it no longer fits properly. So, using gaffer tape, you secure it in place. You tell your landlord and anyone that asks. Besides, it's just a few tiny pieces of tape. Nothing like that hideous blue tarp and broken patio.
In the meantime, you notice some pretty messed up things. The only real friend you have here tells you about a board member that yells at her for using the workout room during allowed hours (like, mid-afternoon), because it's TOO LOUD. She starts receiving nastygrams and board complaints on her door (she's an owner - don't ask me why). Then, one night you catch this vile, vindictive old hag in the act. She stomps around the common area at night with her arms folded. If she hears a peep (and you can hear a pin drop at night due to the weird acoustics outside here)... even if that peep is usually people next door in section 8 screaming or having domestic violence incidents and the cops show up with sirens blaring...nope, it has to be someone here. So she stomps around the yard looking in people's windows. If she sees tv lights flash, a light on, or hears someone chuckle, she stomps up to their residence and pounds on the door. The thing is, because of the weird acoustics there's no real way to be sure where the sound is coming from. I know this, because at night I turn the subtitles on and have the volume so low I can barely here it. And she has pounded on our door in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep. Yes, I know I just switched from third to first person. deal with it.
Then, the really weird stuff happens. At first, my step daughter noticed that there was "weird foamy stuff" coming out of someone's door. I went to investigate and it looked like some kind of industrial glue...like someone had tried to glue the door to the apartment shut. The next day, we're walking down the hall and in HUGE letters spray painted on the wall are the words C*NT and W*ORE next to the glued apartment. I thought, "Whoa..... that's messed up." The next day, they painted over it, and the day after that the words were back, but bigger, more of them, and stretched from the apartment door all the way down the hallway. Whoever it was doing this was gaining access to the building. No one posted anything about it on the bulletin boards, no notices on doors. No one said anything face to face. Then, the next day, I see that there are obvious crowbar marks next to the....now pried open door. No lights...just blackness inside. I got tingly feelings on the back of my neck and called the cops. Months later, I find out that it was a known violent convicted felon with warrants out for - among other things - domestic violence against the girl that lived in that apartment. Turns out the HOA knew about this the whole time, and did not notify anyone to keep a lookout for this guy or - you know - maybe warn families with kids at LEAST that a VIOLENT HOMICIDAL MANIAC has been sneaking into the building every night, and even took shots at the front entry way door (oh yeah, bullets went through).
So days after I find this out.... this little shit takes over as the president or head of the nazi board. Little guy, with no arms. He'd always been super nice to me before. But now, suddenly, he's Herr Dictator. One day he is roaming around outside of the building and sees me on my patio. He goes, "Hey....Do you know what's up with that hole in the side of the building?" I came down and looked. Above my daughters window - a good five to ten feet above it - was what to anyone that knows their arse from a hole in the ground would recognize as a dryer vent. I said, "That's just a dryer vent."
"Well, why doesn't it have the thingy on it?"
"I don't know. Maybe it got knocked off because this place is shifting? Just a guess."
"huh. Interesting." and he walked off.
Next day, my landlord calls me. We'd been accused of drilling an effing hole through the wall, and he demanded we let them in for inspection ASAP. Of course, armless wonder comes in with his gestapo buddies and *gasp* find nothing.
idiots.
In a remarkable coincidence, the next day EVERYONE had little typed notes tacked to their doors demanding they remove their window units, their fans, their canopy's, their... whatever infraction they could find. Mind you, this is in the middle of the longest heatwave Seattle's ever had (at least in my life time). I know, people love to scoff and say, "Bah! AC?! It's only warm three days a year!" No. Out of the last three months, I can remember a handful of days where it wasn't unbearably hot inside these apartment buildings. But Herr Dictator has to take charge! Show us who's boss! Lay down the law!
Later that week, the mean old lady pounds on my door at 8:30pm - mind you - that's an hour and a half before quiet time. I had a friend over. We were talking. She starts in with "Yes..you see...EVERY night I can hear YOUR TV just BLARING."
"Let me stop you right there. I very sincerely doubt that what you are saying is true. If you want to, go ahead and file a complaint. OK? Good night." I shut the door. I've run out of patience for this place.
In another shocking coincidence, last week (approx. 1 week since mega b*tch found out I knew she was and is full of crap), we get a call from our landlord's assistant letting us know that we'll be receiving a document in the mail notifying us of an increase in rent....when our landlord - to our face (but not in writing) told us he would never raise rent here. She let us know that we'd had a complaint against us about the "unsightly AC unit"...and one from mega b*tch complaining - not about the noise - but that I was "rude to her." LOL. Wow. Let's take a look at this again....
The bits of tape I have in the window (rather, had. I decided to play nice and find another solution yesterday), were worth freaking out about, because, you know, when someone comes to look at the condos to rent or buy, they're not going to notice the big ugly tarp that's been hanging out for almost two years and is getting shredded to pieces....nor will they take note of the sounds of insanity, stench of decay, or all of the malt liquor swilling losers cackling their asses off out in front between our building and section 8....None of that will be noticed by anyone, but OH boy! That one window looks like it's slightly different! That's a deal breaker for us! RIIGHT.
So we're basically being forced out without being evicted. Typical passive aggressive Seattle resident BS behavior.
HOA's are bull. They are run by people that have crappy lives, and are in desperate need to feel in control and have power over *something* to fill that hole in their brain that the rest of us fill up with empathy, compassion, logic, and reason. They are weak people pretending to play God. If you are an HOA lover, you are Anti-American. There is no argument. You don't like the constitution the way it is, so you invent your own based upon your own pettiness and desire to control others. You've found a legal way to have your commune and be a dictator too. I seriously find it hard to believe that it's pure coincedence that the people that - typically - are board members and really, really care about HOA's and keeping everyone inline, making sure no one shows a shred of individuality or slightly inconveniences anyone, are the same generation that were once called the "Peace and Love" generation. The activists, the hippies, the people that wanted justice and believed in personal freedom. These same people, many of them no doubt, tried living on communes and watched them crumble or get raided. So, now here we are. They've become embittered, and that part of them that's still too much of a hippie to believe in the constitution as is have glommed on to each other in retirement. The people that gave the finger to the mainstream now get red faced if you dare do anything outside of their communist standards. And they will screw you, just for the fun of it. Is there anyone to hold THEM accountable? NOPE. Do they pick and choose targets that they know are easy, i.e. the young, the poor, the new families, the single income families, or the people that they deem as a threat to their Gold-Bond and Pot smoke filled lives? YEP.
FUCK YOU ALL.
