Need Advice on how to handle my neighbor

AaronB2 (Massachusetts)
Posts: 10

Posted:

New member here! I've followed this board for a few months since I joined my HOA board.

Now I need some advice, please.

I am on a the board of my HOA in a very nice gated community near Charleston, SC. My neighbor Steve C. recently found out that I was on the board now he won't leave me alone. We have hired landscape professionals to manicure our medians and islands. He claims that the landscape professionals (or Poors as he calls them) keeps leaving oil stains on his circular driveway from parking there. I have never seen the landscape guys park in his circular driveway. I do always see his Tahoe parked in the spot where the oil stains are. Steve belives that the HOA should pay for the cleanup. We have refused so far, but it is making it difficult to be neighbors now.

Any advice on dealing with a situation like this?

KellyM3 (North Carolina)
Posts: 2,239

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By AaronB2 on 01/23/2014 5:52 PM
New member here! I've followed this board for a few months since I joined my HOA board.

Now I need some advice, please.

I am on a the board of my HOA in a very nice gated community near Charleston, SC. My neighbor Steve C. recently found out that I was on the board now he won't leave me alone. We have hired landscape professionals to manicure our medians and islands. He claims that the landscape professionals (or Poors as he calls them) keeps leaving oil stains on his circular driveway from parking there. I have never seen the landscape guys park in his circular driveway. I do always see his Tahoe parked in the spot where the oil stains are. Steve belives that the HOA should pay for the cleanup. We have refused so far, but it is making it difficult to be neighbors now.

Any advice on dealing with a situation like this?

Hi Aaron,

Steve needs to come before the board with proof of landscaper negligence so that your board may act. Verbal reports are irrelevant as you know. Outside of that, it's unfortunate Steve is choosing to create an enemy on the HOA board of which he needs possible assistance (if he's right). He's not thought things through.

Oh, and you'll need to find out the exact process Steve must follow and give it to him. Then, there's no more informal chatter about it. You don't volunteer as a board member so you can chronic bitching.

KellyM3 (North Carolina)
Posts: 2,239

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By KellyM3 on 01/23/2014 6:05 PM

Posted By AaronB2 on 01/23/2014 5:52 PM
New member here! I've followed this board for a few months since I joined my HOA board.

Now I need some advice, please.

I am on a the board of my HOA in a very nice gated community near Charleston, SC. My neighbor Steve C. recently found out that I was on the board now he won't leave me alone. We have hired landscape professionals to manicure our medians and islands. He claims that the landscape professionals (or Poors as he calls them) keeps leaving oil stains on his circular driveway from parking there. I have never seen the landscape guys park in his circular driveway. I do always see his Tahoe parked in the spot where the oil stains are. Steve belives that the HOA should pay for the cleanup. We have refused so far, but it is making it difficult to be neighbors now.

Any advice on dealing with a situation like this?

Hi Aaron,

Steve needs to come before the board with proof of landscaper negligence so that your board may act. Verbal reports are irrelevant as you know. Outside of that, it's unfortunate Steve is choosing to create an enemy on the HOA board of which he needs possible assistance (if he's right). He's not thought things through.

Oh, and you'll need to find out the exact process Steve must follow and give it to him. Then, there's no more informal chatter about it. You don't volunteer as a board member so you can chronic bitching.

Insert the word "hear" in that last sentence.

AaronB2 (Massachusetts)
Posts: 10

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By KellyM3 on 01/23/2014 6:05 PM

Posted By AaronB2 on 01/23/2014 5:52 PM
New member here! I've followed this board for a few months since I joined my HOA board.

Now I need some advice, please.

I am on a the board of my HOA in a very nice gated community near Charleston, SC. My neighbor Steve C. recently found out that I was on the board now he won't leave me alone. We have hired landscape professionals to manicure our medians and islands. He claims that the landscape professionals (or Poors as he calls them) keeps leaving oil stains on his circular driveway from parking there. I have never seen the landscape guys park in his circular driveway. I do always see his Tahoe parked in the spot where the oil stains are. Steve belives that the HOA should pay for the cleanup. We have refused so far, but it is making it difficult to be neighbors now.

Any advice on dealing with a situation like this?

Hi Aaron,

Steve needs to come before the board with proof of landscaper negligence so that your board may act. Verbal reports are irrelevant as you know. Outside of that, it's unfortunate Steve is choosing to create an enemy on the HOA board of which he needs possible assistance (if he's right). He's not thought things through.

Oh, and you'll need to find out the exact process Steve must follow and give it to him. Then, there's no more informal chatter about it. You don't volunteer as a board member so you can chronic bitching.

Thanks for the advice!!

The problem is that he won't approach the board about the issue. And he doesn't complain to other members. I think he just holds a personal grudge against me because my son used to skate board on his circular driveway. That problem has been resolved, but I think he still holds a grudge. I have thought about introducing an anti-harrasment provisions to the by-laws, have you ever heard of such a thing? I don't want to have to resign from my position.

RayC4 (Virginia)
Posts: 173

Posted:

Quote:

The problem is that he won't approach the board about the issue.

I think what Kelly was suggesting is that there IS NO 'issue' unless and until your neighbor files a formal complaint with the Board. You need to explain that to him in no uncertain terms -- including the fact that you will hear no more about it until then. (It is easier if your HOA has a formal complaint procedure in place and published to the membership.)

AaronB2 (Massachusetts)
Posts: 10

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By RayC4 on 01/23/2014 6:37 PM

The problem is that he won't approach the board about the issue.

I think what Kelly was suggesting is that there IS NO 'issue' unless and until your neighbor files a formal complaint with the Board. You need to explain that to him in no uncertain terms -- including the fact that you will hear no more about it until then. (It is easier if your HOA has a formal complaint procedure in place and published to the membership.)

Sorry I did not make myself clear from the last post. I don't think he has an actual complaint, I think he is just using my position on the HOA board to harrass me. To be honest, we never have got along since my son practially started a riot on his front lawn last Halloween because he was handing out Godiva chocolate to all the trick or treaters. My son went there early, since he obviously lives next door, and he posted the news on facebook and there was a mini-riot on his lawn and circular driveway. Cops were called. It was a mess...

Long story short, I want to know if by-laws can be amended to add an anti-harrassment clause so Steve will leave me alone? Have you ever heard of such a clause?

Thanks! And sorry again for the confusion.

TimB4 (Tennessee)
Posts: 21,059

Posted:

Aaron,

Explain that you are simply one vote and do not have the authority to make any decision on the issue by yourself. Tell him that the best you can do and that you are more than willing to do is put the issue on the agenda if he would like to attend the meeting and discuss it with the Board.

JeremyD4 (Arizona)
Posts: 1

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By TimB4 on 01/23/2014 7:41 PM
Aaron,

Explain that you are simply one vote and do not have the authority to make any decision on the issue by yourself. Tell him that the best you can do and that you are more than willing to do is put the issue on the agenda if he would like to attend the meeting and discuss it with the Board.

Agreed. I had a friend who wanted me to help him get a painting contract with our community and this approach worked well. Remember he'll still be your neighbor.

CarolR11 (Colorado)
Posts: 2,563

Posted:

I must be going out of my mind tonight. Aaron, reallY? You're a Board member who wants to change the bylaws because YOUR son behaved like a thug??

Look again at the definition of fiduciary relationship and get back to us with your definition, Aaron!!

JoK2 (California)
Posts: 198

Posted:

Has he made a formal complaint to the board and the board said no? If it's causing tension between you two, it's up to you to stop it. With the right words and tone you can tell him you are feeling this way and that you are concerned with your future friendship.
But if you that he is attacking you because of a past issue, Then you don't have the neighborly relationship you think you have, so you aren't going to lose much if you have to speak so frankly with them.

KellyM3 (North Carolina)
Posts: 2,239

Posted:

I got trolled! That's funny...the concept of a Facebook post causing kids' riot because Godiva chocolates were being handed out! This isn't as good as the other trolling posts, but did - at first reading - seem legitimate.

Good Job!

LarryB13 (Arizona)
Posts: 4,099

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By KellyM3 on 01/24/2014 6:09 AM
I got trolled! That's funny...the concept of a Facebook post causing kids' riot because Godiva chocolates were being handed out! This isn't as good as the other trolling posts, but did - at first reading - seem legitimate.

Good Job!

Whoever is behind this nonsense is very creative. Refusing to separate recyclable trash was good. Can't borrow my neighbor's lawnmower because I once wrapped his car around a tree was even better. The diatribes against Hispanic workers and Black neighbors, especially the drug-dealing Jamal who drives and orange Cadillac, were just xenophobic trash. Hiring a private eye to catch the drunken dentist using his home for an office sounded almost legitimate. The complaint about the dog and another about cats were both a little too silly to take for real.

The one thing all these posts seem to have in common is that they come from members who have never posted before.

AaronB2 (Massachusetts)
Posts: 10

Posted:

Don't know why I am being attacked here. I simply asked about an anti-harrassment rule.

And the Godiva chocolate riot did happen. It was a dark day for my family. I know it may seem unrealistic but I live in a gated neighborhood with circular driveways. Most people in my neighborhood have a 3 to 5 golf handicap. Trust me, its not unrealistic to hand out boxes of Godiva in my neighborhood.

ValerieS2 (Michigan)
Posts: 244

Posted:

Your family had a dark day indeed...a dark CHOCOLATE day that is....

It is very entertaining watching these long time members engage all these interesting posters. One minute offering advice, the next lamenting their very existence.

JayP3 (Florida)
Posts: 154

Posted:

"It is very entertaining watching these long time members engage all these interesting posters. One minute offering advice, the next lamenting their very existence."

And all the while taking it [HOATalk] way too seriously.

This site is about people, with a little HOA on the side!

If you've been around for a number of years you'd notice the ebb and flow of posters and civility.

It is not closely moderated because that takes time, energy, and $.

Like many free advice forums, here, you must also wade through the chaff to get to the wheat.

I agree, it is "entertaining".

TimB4 (Tennessee)
Posts: 21,059

Posted:

Well,

Based on Arron's post count being at zero, it appears that he has resigned from the Forum.

LarryB13 (Arizona)
Posts: 4,099

Posted:

Quote:

Posted By TimB4 on 01/25/2014 5:23 AM
Well,

Based on Arron's post count being at zero, it appears that he has resigned from the Forum.

Only to reappear under many other names.