Being Called a Theif on Social Media...

Well, it has happened.

I posted a few days about the "donation" of junk that was found in our beautiful clubhouse.

A forclosed owner gave a huge amount of junk, mismatched wine glasses from her travels, plastic chipped acrylic drinkware, and the worst? Personalized coffee mugs from her adventures, and some animal rights / ASPCA.. the mug actually said "Thank you Mary Jane Smith ( fake name ) for your support" and this was donated in the amount of 25 misc drink ware!

I took it upon myself to throw out the worst of the "donation", actually gave a portion of the other crap to Goodwill ( with receipt ) and left the other box of junk for the BOARD to decide if they wish to keep it. ( the answer is no)

One of the homeowners who was key in getting this lovely box of crapola got wind of the missing glassware.

Short of the long? She was a neighbor friend of mine who really did this.
She posted on my personal social media page.. essentially accusing me of "stealing the best glasses" and "leaving the rest". Told me she saw me for what I am and a few other things.

I am at a loss here. To be accused of being a thief after knowing me and my character for many years, donating countless hours as a HOA board member, literally spending my days off helping to facilitate Goodwill pick up of various abandoned community good and this happened. I am at a loss!

I did email this loon a reciept of the donation received by the charity that took it, I notified my board and my property manager of this accusation... but really

I guess I am just looking for support here. I have had many dealings with much more important items, events, money, etc on behalf of our HOA. My honesty regarding the big picture had NEVER been in question, but to be accused of stealing donated crap items that was dumped in our clubhouse just does not settle well with me.

I have been upfront with those who need to know if her accusations, and any proof of diposition of items is accounted for..
Yet, I am still even as of late as yesterday getting messages from my accuser. I considering a restraining order if this persists just to prove a point. But what is happening here is SLANDER, and legal steps can threatend. I am just at a loss.

The simple question is, did you have the authority to do this?

Are you designated as the clubhouse Officer? If yes, then you had authority.

Did the Board authorize you to make the determination on what to keep/toss? If yes, then you had the authority.

If you didn't have the authority then, to be honest, you shouldn't have done it.
That said, if you didn't have the authority I certainly wouldn't consider you a thief. However, I would point out that without proper authority you were in the wrong and the perception others have of the issue you may have to deal with.

If you did have authority, a letter to the individual and/or community simply stating that this was a board decision should resolve any perception issues.

I would also encourage you to encourage your Board to come up with a donation policy for the clubhouse.

However, that individual didn't know that you had the authority to do this and was acting at the direction of the Board.

Simply explain it.

Yes, that individual should have asked you first, but that is that individuals character flaw. Their feelings were likely hurt because they though that they were doing a good thing by donating it. They may have wanted it back if the Association didn't want it. Perhaps that should have been done. Hard to tell.

I know that my Church has actually kept many organs donated to the them simply because the individual who donated them still attends. The Church's board of trustees would rather store the items than go through the issues you are.

Fiona,

Why don't you write the Resolution then present it to the Board for comment and approval.

Include in the policy what items will and won't be considered.
Identify in the policy that chipped or cracked items will not be accepted.

I've found that many people are willing to agree to something after someone else does the work. They just don't want to do the work. Therefore, use that to your advantage and start the issue by actually writing the proposal.

Melissa,
I guess I didn't really post clearly the issue at hand. Our HOA was making a donation to the local charity with board approval etc. It was ME that designated to head this and make arrangements for the pick up. It was THAT morning I went to the clubhouse to gather the arranged items. The glasses were sitting there.. leaving me to assume it was all meant for charity pick up along with everything else!! I didn't donate everything and looking back, I should of.. because NOBODY communicated to ME that this "stuff" was NOT meant for pick up. Used personalized mugs with prior owners names on it sound like Salvation Army goods does it not? It all should of left then I could of just blamed the poor communicator, the one who claims I am a theif..

OH HOW RIGHT YOU ARE.. I just hate having a resident saying what she about me, or if it was anyone else for that matter. However, the proof has been given to her and the others. Even as late as yesterday I was receiving text messages from this person wanting to discuss a dead horse. I have to consider the source and understand that accusations without proof only to hav proof of evidence make the claimer look like a loon. Which she is.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions is it NOT??

HA! I'd rather be called Hitler than a theif.

However people do NOT realize posting things on social media can turn into legal issues! Which I pointed out to our board.

Some people just have a knack for pulling themselves into drama.

"I took it upon myself" becomes "what has happened".

And a friend who now labels you a thief well chaces are they were not much of a friend to begin with. Nor should you allow them in your life at any level EVER AGAIN.

And here's a thought BLOCK her from posting to your Facebook page!

Social media is a tool that can be easily abused. Especially when you fail to retain contol and limit its use.

But lets go to the authorities, threaten legal action, and by all means keep claiming your innocence and that should clam things right down. Yeah right.

My guess Fiona won't go to long without yet another "issue" she fell into but can't see SHE put herself right in the middle of things.

Either change your behavior or accept more of the same.

Fiona language is everything. You posted: I took it upon myself not the Board asked me to... So you can see where your fellow posters might assume that you were at fault.

So in the end Fiona it would appear everyone else is to blame and you see yourself as having NO role in this.

IMO you allow yourself to be put in positions where you then are left holding the bag and can't figure out why. As you describe here about your neighbor complaining to you and asking YOU make complaints or bring this violation to the Board because they don't want to bother. About how people arrive at your home to discuss Board issues and you allow this to take place rather than sending them on their way.

The truth is YOU put yourself in these situations. And the only behavior you can change is yours. So perhaps you might consider YOUR role in all of this or you can expect future complications to find you.

You are one judemental....... I am amazed with how well you know me.. carry on Jon. Your advise has been taken.. and the rest trashed just like the glasses. Many thanks.

Well Fiona you have come to this site on more than one occasion finding yourself in some situation that somehow finds its way into your life without you being able to see YOU contribute to what has happened. My comments are not judgment but rather observations. Perhaps you find it easier not to consider my judgments when you label them as such..

IMO you seem to be unable to set limits as to what you involve yourself in. You can't maintain a healthy distance between you and others that clearly are using you. And you seem to have a strong need to have others think well of you. If someone claims you are a thief and that is not true than there would be no need to go on the offensive proving them wrong. Nor would what some less than true "friend" or neighbor claim hold much water for me. By making a federal case out of this all you give their claims credence.

So carry on and I will sit back and wait for the next time you can't fathom how you come to certain points in your life that complicate your actions and in which you have NO role.

Insanity is doing things the same way over and over again and expecting different results.

The next time someone knocks on your door wishing to inform you about their being a violation of the rules simply explain you are not the one woman enforcement arm of the Board and you don't take complaints at your home and require the full Board to be informed through normal operating procedures. Might just work wonders.

Accept apology.