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FrankS10 (Kansas)
Posts: 276
Posted:
Tim,

I applaud your efforts with these two threads. I did not weigh in on them with the thoughts I am sharing here as I felt it would be off topic.

Do the regular Board members posting here see a pattern with the answers on both threads so far? I believe everyone posting is pretty much doing so in a positive manner. Hopefully current Board members will realize there are problems out there, some no doubt perceived but others being real. I hope all of us are open to learning and challenging our own positions so we can make our HOAs better in serving the membership!

Again, thank you Tim.
MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836
Posted:
Why do people keep insisting that being a board member that you are deaf dumb and in denial of problems in your HOA? I swear I want to scream everytime I see such a statement. Guess what? What I see in everyone's reason to be a board member is because there was a problem and they took action to address/fix it. You have to see the problem to resolve the problem.

When your a board member you are ALWAYS swamped with not only your own problems but those around you. It's nothing but a sea of "Problems". However, as board members we are given a floating device and told not to drown! Sometimes that floating device is a life preserver and sometimes it's a half blown up pool lounger.

A sidenote: I am using the "pool" references since you make snide comments about HOA's having meetings at pools supposedly under the influence. Let's make one thing VERY VERY VERY clear about my comments about ever having a meeting at my pool. ABSOLUTELY NO alcohol is or would ever be allowed in a meeting nor in a pool area of my HOA. I live in HOT as molasses Alabama. Most of my membership is already at the pool which is directly behind the clubhouse. Why not bring the mountain to the people? I feel you can't have a more open and inviting meeting when you are in a bathing suit with absolutely nothing to hide. So stop being so not outside the box when it comes to how to handle HOA business.

Now that I got that off my chest. Volunteering comes from the heart or from the greed. You have to choose wisely on who you vote for or why you run. You have to live with your greed or you can live with a full heart that takes a few cracks...

Former HOA President
JuliaK3 (Michigan)
Posts: 1
Posted:
I would have some serious questions about the judgment of someone who hosted meetings in a bikini. While you might think it is titillating to some, I am sure others would be made uncomfortable. Nutty!
MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836
Posted:
Who said bikini and who is mentioning alcohol? Those are ASSUMPTIONS you are all making. No one had attended the meeting as I would wait for 15 minutes for people to come in. No one came so I would head out to the pool. It just so happened that is where most of the people would be on hot nights. We are NEIGBHBORS after all NOT politicians or professionals. A HOA is YOU and your NEIGHBORS. Why not treat it like you with neighbors than a city council meeting? I eat, swim, socialize, and are friends with these people. It's just as President I was elected to represent the neighbors as a WHOLE. Why make myself above them when I am one of them?

Former HOA President
FrankS10 (Kansas)
Posts: 276
Posted:
Melissa,

I suggest you try and remain silent rather than continue speaking and remove all doubt.
MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836
Posted:
I prefer you did NOT speak of which you do not know about either... I find it VERY offensive one would indicate that alcohol is involved in any of my meetings. What was I going to do go into a swimming pool fully clothed in 100 degree weather? Seriously people it is a swimming pool so going to wear a swimsuit (NOT bikini) and talk with people in a relaxed atmosphere. What is the problem with that? Not fancy enough for you? I go where the people are so I can listen to them. That's my job. To LISTEN to the people I represent. It is NOT to speak in their direction.

You all complain that your board doesn't listen or do what you want them to do. Well, why have an attitude when you actually do have a board member/President that does? I will talk to you at the mailbox, on the phone, in the pool, or walking my dogs. Does your board member or officer do that for you? Then I would recommend that YOU are the closed one on this issue. As for me, I take the mountain to the people, than sit on top of one....

Former HOA President
TimB4 (Tennessee)
Posts: 21,062
Posted:
Quote:
Posted By FrankS10 on 08/21/2013 4:45 AM
Tim,

I applaud your efforts with these two threads.

Thanks Frank.

I wasn't looking for applause but I'll humbly take them.

Amin had a good comment. It could have been worded differently so as not to ruffle feathers, but it was still a good comment. This had me think why is it that people don't volunteer? I've always listed membership apathy as a major problem but perhaps it isn't just apathy (and the comments on the reasons why people don't volunteer show that it isn't all apathy).

Just as I'm learning from the non-volunteer thread, I hope those who don't volunteer are learning from the volunteer thread.

I'm not ready to draw conclusions yet as I hope there are more posters on those threads. There certainly isn't any right or wrong answer. It's just identifying the reasons why one individual chose to do something or not do something.

Hopefully we all can at least learn to look at the same issue from different perspectives.

JohnC46 (South Carolina)
Posts: 14,265
Posted:
While I understand apathy quite often is that people are happy with the way things are and see no need for them becoming involved.

One way to get people involved is play on if they are happy then they need to work to keep it that way or some fools will step in and screw it up.

SheliaH (Indiana)
Posts: 6,964
Posted:
Well, I’ve noticed more responses to the “why we volunteer” thread (8) as I write this) as opposed to “why we don’t/won’t volunteer” (3). Those of us who often post here have learned no one will care about our homes more than we do and if we want to see positive change, we can’t always wait for someone else to bring it.

I think that’s the #1 reason people don’t volunteer - the current volunteers may just take them up on their offer of “I can do better than you!” (Really? Here’s my chair – good luck and have a nice day!) Others are afraid of being uncomfortable, being yelled at, ignored or laughed at, so they hope the people who do volunteer know what they’re doing, forgetting that they still have to watch the watchers.

Life isn’t all black or white – most of it is in varying shades of gray, but people don’t understand that either. You won’t find every single scenario of HOA life addressed in the Bylaws, CCRs, Declaration or whatever your community runs from. People and communities are constantly evolving and some things should be a matter of common sense and working together to find common ground.

Instead, people figure “it’s MY house, dammit!!” and will struggle to find someone, anyone, who will interpret the Bylaws, CCRs, an architectural request or something else the same way they’re trying to do. When you start with reading one’s documents, attending a meeting or two, coming up with a thoughtful suggestion AND volunteering to help, you’ll usually find 90% of your problems can be solved at that point. Then again, all of these options require more brain power and thinking before speaking, which is too much to ask of most people, so they don’t do it.

For my part, I find it more productive and satisfying to at least try and work towards a solution rather than sit at home and complain or run screaming to the courts when things don’t go my way. It may not work, but at least I tried and I’ll put up my effort against all of my neighbors who did nothing. I’m not so in love with this VOLUNTEER position that I’ll be insulted if someone runs against me and wins. Hell, if he or she can do the job better, that’s a good thing – especially if our community will be cleaner, more attractive and safer, the vacant houses will be sold to owner occupants and everyone’s property values, including mine, will rise. Why on earth would I want to interfere with that, manipulating proxies, holding secret meetings or this other stuff I often read about on this board?

It may be people think they don’t have the time or energy for board membership, but the real problem might be one’s unwillingness to listen to others and spread the work around. People are also afraid of not knowing the answers or they know the answer and don’t like it, so they wing it and mess things up. You also have to know when to delegate – if you have a property manager, he or she works for the Association, not the other way around. They’re supposed to handle the day to day stuff – you have to step back and let them do their jobs instead of micromanaging everything – and screwing that up, too.

I don’t mind people criticizing the board – at least they’re paying attention and maybe we’ll get some help that way, or at least a different perspective on a problem. It also keeps board members humble – the more I learn the more I realize there’s a lot more to learn, so I keep going.

If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it. Marcus Aurelius
ValerieS2 (Michigan)
Posts: 244
Posted:
Melissa I distinctly remember a post in which you admitted to holding a meeting in your bikini.
ValerieS2 (Michigan)
Posts: 244
Posted:
"Attendance had been so low I had meetings in our pool in my bathing suit!!!"

My bad. Bathing Suit. But really, who cares? Still highly inappropriate.
MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836
Posted:
Why inappropriate? It is a HOA!!! Get real.

Former HOA President
MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836
Posted:
History lesson...Church was originally held in bars and taverns. There were no separate church buildings. It was either a gathering spot of people or outside. How inappropriate is that? Having a meeting when it a hundred degrees outside in a pool is just getting business done in a place where everyone was at anyways. I would rather have people IN the pool than staring at it and wishing they were in it...

Former HOA President
JonD1
Posts: 2,350
Posted:
It's quite funny having folks who never served a day on any Board now explain how things should be done.

Then when you explain a rather simple reality that there is a learning curve well you get driving records, how long they have been married and the type of work they have done ALL which provides anything you need to know about serving on a Board.

One gent suggested if you run a household bingo you should be good to go.

I beleive the same guy thought Crazy Mike was the HOA Braveheart. You know the answer to all their prayers. Just that the reality Mike is a clown was missed due to their desire to find fault.

Yes! Some HOA Boards act poorly. YES! Thanks for the heads up.
If that is the only informaion you can provide than move along.

If you have issues than do something because if you wait for Mike the LOON and Amin the EVIL KILLER to put together new laws and governement agencies to give you what you want because you can't do it for yourself
my guess God will call you home before that happens.

I also find the judgment people make about Melissa's "pool" meetings interesting. First Valerie who lives to second guess and find fault jumps to some conclusion only to find out later SHE in fact was mistaken.
Have you been able to remove the shoe from your mouth yet???? Why would you care where, or how, or who attends meetings and more importanly who decided you get to set the guidelines for what is proper? Get a grip!

I guess the woman from Michigan whose name escapes me also thinks see gets to set meeting procedures in HOAs in which she does not live. Do you really have nothing better to comment with?

And Amin if you bothered to read his posts is a fool. Over and over and over again why why why why......... Borrow a pair and go to the big bad MC's office and review the records. Case closed. Does he have ANY PROOF ??? Of course not. But he comes to this site makes silly comments about "spineless jellyfish" and thinks he is accomplshing something.
REALLY?????? Other than sounding like an _____ do you really think that puts the fear of God into anybody????

The only point Amin has is that he is a complainer without a clue. Who like Crazy Mike (hero to some) that thought ranting covered up for his complete and total failure. If Mike were to serve as your BraveHeart you have a serious problem. But yet some thought Mike too might have a point.
Evidently, afer 10 years the Ma. courts would disagree with you.

The combination of Arrogance and Ignorance a wide spread condition many folks today are infected with. They THINK they have all the answers when in fact they haven't got a clue.

FrankS10 (Kansas)
Posts: 276
Posted:
Jon,

Have not seen you post for a little...C'mon now, you were busy watching Dr. Phil re-runs in your closed Board meetings slapping each other on the back and performing your secret handshake to show how inferior, I mean superior, you are, right?

I'm a little bored today so I thought I would get you wound up for fun

SharonH9 (Virginia)
Posts: 216
Posted:
Quote:
Posted By ValerieS2 on 08/21/2013 11:01 AM
"Attendance had been so low I had meetings in our pool in my bathing suit!!!"

My bad. Bathing Suit. But really, who cares? Still highly inappropriate.

She also said and "I have big boobs and I'm not fat." Melissa, posters will take you more seriously if you didn't write posts like this. I think I gave you some friendly advice once before. Read what you write before you hit that submit button.
MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836
Posted:
There is room for humor and jello in one's life...

Former HOA President
JonD1
Posts: 2,350
Posted:
Quote:
Posted By FrankS10 on 08/21/2013 1:58 PM
Jon,

Have not seen you post for a little...C'mon now, you were busy watching Dr. Phil re-runs in your closed Board meetings slapping each other on the back and performing your secret handshake to show how inferior, I mean superior, you are, right?

I'm a little bored today so I thought I would get you wound up for fun


Well Frank to be clear I had thought we need not bother exchanging but since you asked.

I serve as Board President. You serve as nothing but community whiner.

I have served for 26 years. You have not held a Board position for one day. My guess perhaps
you could not master the secret handshake.

I come to this site as one of those HOA leaders this site is supposed to serve. You come as a wanna be someday leader of your property. Who for some reason thinks their opinion based on nothing really matters. My guess wishful thinking on your part.

Now as to Dr. Phil well I enjoy and find valuable NEW and different sources of information.
While my guess you have spent your life re-reading the same words over and over again thinking these are all you might ever need to get through life.

It is a big world out there Frank perhaps you should consider the possibility you live in a very small part of that world.

I would assume you have many boring days with your perfect driving record, your perfect marriage, your perfect management job and all your God given knowledge about everything.
Just one glaring shortcoming. Getting something done in the HOA where you live. Not real good at any of that. So you come tho this site and whine. And preach.

Now that your BFF Mike seems to have left the building who will serve as your Savior now?
I thought it was cute when he sat on his lap telling him just how right he was. And how you saw it the same way he did. Where might you get all your ideas and information now???
Perhaps Amin fits the bill he appears to operate at a similar level as you. A non-Board member who finds fault with HOAs , while blaming the government, the courts, the builder and anyone else while never considering their do nothing role. Yes it would appear Amin is right up your alley.

I just hope Mike doesn't get jealous.........

TimB4 (Tennessee)
Posts: 21,062
Posted:
Quote:
Posted By SheliaH on 08/21/2013 10:45 AM

Well, I’ve noticed more responses to the “why we volunteer” thread (8) as I write this) as opposed to “why we don’t/won’t volunteer” (3).

Considering that the question is asked on this site, I expected that to be the case.

I do hope we get more responses from actual non-volunteers, as I think it will be a good perspective to have.
FrankS10 (Kansas)
Posts: 276
Posted:
Jon,

You write about Mike so much I am beginning to think you have a crush on him

Jon, if in fact you have been on your Board for 25 years and your meetings are closed, if I lived in your neighborhood I can guarantee you have met your worst nightmare. I would have that changed within 3 months.

I live in a community that has a Board as arrogant and drunk on power as you are. And they made the mistake of thinking I was no leader as well. The box they can now operate in is a lot smaller and they know that people who can make changes are watching them.

BTW, I was elected to the Board over the one developer up for re-election last year if they could not use the votes for their un-sold lots to win-meaning the HOA membership voted for me and I never even asked anyone for a vote. They just like a guy who will stand up to bullies like you because they can't do it themselves.

And Jon, let's make no mistake about it-you are a bully. That is why I have stood up for Mike because you write long posts that personally attack him every time he responds. I like standing up to bullies like you-you are just small minded very insecure little person that has to operate in closed meetings because if you did operate in the open everyone would see how inept you are just as we do here.

OTH, I hope my Board keeps thinking I am no leader. My goal is not to be a Board member, but to protect my investment and way of life I have purchased in to. And so far I'm doing quite fine, thank you! I actually dread being on the Board just because of the time it will take, so having people like you who have their HOA title printed on the business cards running around to do the work is just fine by me. I have said it before, I like people thinking I am a nobody. Gives a person a whole lot more room in which to operate and before anyone realizes it, they have made some significant changes. I'm more comfortable not being recognized and going after that type of life you mock me for. You see I know the life I want, you have to work at. And little obstacles like you are real easy to just run right over and you never realize what happened until it is too late.
ValerieS2 (Michigan)
Posts: 244
Posted:
"I have big boobs and I am not fat."

"here is room for humor and jello in one's life..."

Maybe it's just me but where is the humor in the first statement!?! Sounds more like a pathetic attention grab to me.
FrankS10 (Kansas)
Posts: 276
Posted:
Valerie,

I very much appreciate your posts. Women have had to work too hard, and still do, just to receive the same respect men do in comparable management positions. And then when we read words like what you are referencing, it is nice to see another woman say it is inappropriate. Thank you!

I do empathize with Melissa for having been taken in by a con-artist of a man. I guess I don't understand why she can not make the connection to the fact that he was on her Board and that some posters here have experienced the same: less than ethical people who populate a Board for their own agenda or even financial enrichment happens often enough that most adults are not going to want to participate in a cheerleading to praise their BODs.

What Jon and other posters, IMO, fail to realize about what Mike has been trying to communicate is not that there are crooks in the world, just that with HOAs there are few checks and balances in place to prevent the acts we often read about. Where I disagree with Mike is the conspiracy theories offered up for the lack of checks and balances. I just think it is the result of cities, townships, counties etc. not wanting to do anything that might discourage developers from building a new community (new revenue stream) so the government leaders are willing to look the other way until it becomes too much of a problem, i.e. it will cost them enough votes.
MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836
Posted:
I am sorry I forgot to play victim and prude... It's called LIFE people and it happens. My life pool is filled with lemonade but my big boobs, a little vodka, and itsy bitsy teenie weenie bikini makes life worth living...

Seriously, I paid my dues and a member of my HOA. Why can I not enjoy going swimming in a swimming pool and talk to my fellow neighbors? I put the work in restoring the pool area and fixing it up. By golly going to sit my bathing suit clad body into that pool. Considering the membership did not attend the meeting INSIDE the clubhouse, why not go join them where they are at? If you can't beat them, join them.

Guess what? Board members put their pants on just like everyone else. We pay dues just like everyone else and we have problems with our HOA just like everyone else. We just decided to get elected so we could deal with them directly and not through other people. Want something done right? DO IT YOURSELF!!!!

Don't put a board member on a higher plane than yourself. The only thing a board member is, a person who got elected with the power to make decisions in the HOA on the ENTRIRE owner's behalf. Which to me, means I would rather have someone who will LISTEN to it's membership and NOT the thoughts in their own head. That is why not many members attended my meetings. It was because I did LISTEN to them whether it be at the swimming pool or at the mailbox. Heck, they could even call me day or night because I posted my phone number at the front entrance!!! I could NOT have been more open and acceptive to my membership than if I lived inside their homes.

You all complain that your HOA boards don't listen or care. Why by golly why criticize those of us that DO listen? Just because it's in a HOA member pool that I and all my other members pay for? The worst you can think of to complain is: "Our HOA president talked and listened to us at the pool while in her bathing suit. So we know what is going on and were able to talk to her about our concerns?" Wow you really do want to find something to complain about don't you? No wonder you will never be happy people or satisfied people. That is really sad...Oh well, I am going to go lay out now and get a tan....

Former HOA President
FrankS10 (Kansas)
Posts: 276
Posted:
Melissa,

Honestly, I don't think any of us are trying to put a Board member on a higher ground. We would just like to get some of them up to the ground we low lifes are already on. LOL!
ValerieS2 (Michigan)
Posts: 244
Posted:
Thank you Frank - you are definitely in the minority on this site!

I understand the demands involved with being a board member. Two days ago I was re-elected to a third term and I am happy to serve. Key word being "serve". I always run on a platform of transparency and collaboration. During my report at the Annual Meeting I encourage the membership to review the books and records.

I stand by my statement that presiding over a board meeting, as an elected representative of the membership, clad in a bathing suit is inappropriate. While she may think everyone is fine with it, there are likely those who are uncomfortable with it. Sorry but it tarnishes your credibility and would certainly bring the judgment of such a person into question.

Would you expect to attend a school board or city council meeting and be forced to see that? Not me...
MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836
Posted:
Did you NOT see the FACT that NO ONE was in the clubhouse for my meeting???? Hello!!! No one attended the meeting because of apathy and they were at the pool! So I went to the pool in my bathing suit and talked to the people. Everyone knew it was meeting night and it was always announced a week in advanced.

The fact is my HOA membership trusted me so much and saw my work ethic that they did not feel the need to attend meetings. Which I asked people why no one attended and that was their response. Attendance was usually low unless there was a big issue or elections.

This happens in open and transparent HOA's. People feeling like they can talk to their board members any time and have them listen.

Former HOA President
SharonH9 (Virginia)
Posts: 216
Posted:
Quote:
Posted By MelissaP1 on 08/22/2013 11:20 AM
Did you NOT see the FACT that NO ONE was in the clubhouse for my meeting???? Hello!!! No one attended the meeting because of apathy and they were at the pool! So I went to the pool in my bathing suit and talked to the people. Everyone knew it was meeting night and it was always announced a week in advanced.

The fact is my HOA membership trusted me so much and saw my work ethic that they did not feel the need to attend meetings. Which I asked people why no one attended and that was their response. Attendance was usually low unless there was a big issue or elections.

This happens in open and transparent HOA's. People feeling like they can talk to their board members any time and have them listen.

Where was the rest of the board or was it Melissa's one-woman show? wink wink!!
GlenL (Ohio)
Posts: 5,491
Posted:
Still trying to imagine the secretary keeping his or her notes dry.

Studies show that 5 out of 4 people have problems with fractions
MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836
Posted:
The paperwork was inside on the conference table as always.... My vice president was already in the pool and forgot the meeting. My other board members were either in the pool or not able to attend. There was not much business to discuss anyways..

I stayed at the pool alot anyways as it was one of my big improvement projects. So like to hear feedback on the work that was done there... I do not see anything wrong with being in a bathing suit in a pool and talking to the neighbors... Was I only supposed to come out for meetings?

Former HOA President
ValerieS2 (Michigan)
Posts: 244
Posted:
Melissa, your statement was "Attendance had been so low I had meetings in our pool in my bathing suit!!!"

There is a BIG difference between "talking to your neighbors" in the pool, and "hosting a meeting" in the pool, as your above statement implies. One is common and sociable. The other would be off-putting to some.

I thought it was pretty clear, but no one is chastising you for talking to your neighbors.

Your judgment in choice of venue and attire for presiding at a board meeting, in my humble opinion, was odd at best.

JohnC46 (South Carolina)
Posts: 14,265
Posted:
Man oh man..some of you need to lighten up and/or get laid. Sometimes it is only a movie, not real life.
MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836
Posted:
Margherita's JohnC at my pool? ( . ) ( . ) is what I will be wearing and a ...

Former HOA President
SharonH9 (Virginia)
Posts: 216
Posted:
Quote:
Posted By JohnC46 on 08/22/2013 12:46 PM
Man oh man..some of you need to lighten up and/or get laid. Sometimes it is only a movie, not real life.

Oh JohnC46 - I was just giving Melissa crap because she so eagerly dishes it out to others. I perceive Melissa as one of those women who is crude, rude, and a know-it-all. Most of what she says is pretty stupid but every once in awhile she actually makes some sense. She is obviously very proud of her past service as an HOA president. And I'm sure we will all be blessed with her HOA insight.

MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836
Posted:
Jealous...

Former HOA President
ValerieS2 (Michigan)
Posts: 244
Posted:
Lol. Just keepin' you honest...
MelissaP1 (Alabama)
Posts: 13,836
Posted:
You know I kind of wish I could post a picture of this great offense...LOL! Unfortunately, I only have pictures of the pool after redoing it for safety reasons. Had to remove a retaining wall of colapsing termite infested lumber and replace it with a cement brick one. Plus add new fencing, remove a dangerous deck, create a new entrance, paint existing 20 year fence, and make sure pool not damaged. Did I mention doing this on a 8K budget and no special assessments? I spent weeks at the pool cleaning and protecting it rain or shine....

So Yes I believe I was okay to wear a bathing suit and get into that pool... Make no apologies or is it embarassing. Have a real issue with it then visit Alabama in July....

Former HOA President
TimB4 (Tennessee)
Posts: 21,062
Posted:
ALL,

Old thread reactivated by a poster. It is unknown why it was reactivated as their post was removed.

Tim
CyrstalB (Maryland)
Posts: 457
Posted:
Quote:
Posted By ValerieS2 on 08/22/2013 12:15 PM
Melissa, your statement was "Attendance had been so low I had meetings in our pool in my bathing suit!!!"

There is a BIG difference between "talking to your neighbors" in the pool, and "hosting a meeting" in the pool, as your above statement implies. One is common and sociable. The other would be off-putting to some.

I thought it was pretty clear, but no one is chastising you for talking to your neighbors.

Your judgment in choice of venue and attire for presiding at a board meeting, in my humble opinion, was odd at best.


Valerie your opinion(s)are far from humble.
CyrstalB (Maryland)
Posts: 457
Posted:
Quote:
Posted By ValerieS2 on 08/22/2013 12:15 PM
Melissa, your statement was "Attendance had been so low I had meetings in our pool in my bathing suit!!!"

There is a BIG difference between "talking to your neighbors" in the pool, and "hosting a meeting" in the pool, as your above statement implies. One is common and sociable. The other would be off-putting to some.

I thought it was pretty clear, but no one is chastising you for talking to your neighbors.

Your judgment in choice of venue and attire for presiding at a board meeting, in my humble opinion, was odd at best.


Valerie your posts, errr, I mean opinion(s)are far from being humble.
TimB4 (Tennessee)
Posts: 21,062
Posted:
Crystal,

This is an Old Thread.

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