Melissa & John,
I don't think we expect all members of our Board to be on the same page all of the time. Multiple independent voices ought to have different perspectives that need to be hashed out. Letting the membership observe how the sausage is made is OK. Ever turn on C-Span?
Your words go to the heart of what some of us see as the major problems with HOAs. The Board should assign committees for budget issues and other issues that need input from the membership. To me it seems some of you think the Board should be doing all of the work-they should not. Let the committees also hold open meetings, but bring their consensus to the open Board meetings. After the committee presents their findings, allow the Board members to state their positions based off of what they learned from the committee. Then open it up for membership feedback. Vote if a clear consensus within the community is apparent or do not hesitate to send it back to the committee if obvious information needed for a decision is lacking.
Too often what each of you have stated appears to be excuses as to why you must secretly to conduct the HOA's business. The best way to avoid conflict is for the Board to be as transparent as possible. If you don't have the time to allow the process to function properly, and that is your justification for meeting with other Board members, then get off of your Boards.
Do we really need legislation to instruct people how to best represent their membership? The ONLY way to do that is to hear and LISTEN to their voices. You can not do that when you continue to meet privately. Establish 'E-meetings' if you must, but don't exclude the membership from any portion of the process they want to know about! You are only inviting criticism when you do.
It amazes me how some of you blast the apathy in your communities, but then justify ways for members not to be involved. Really, some of you are ready for political careers in that you do a great job speaking out of both sides of your mouths

You want involvement, but only when it agrees with you.