Extremely Disruptive Board Member

We have an extremely disruptive board member. Among other problems, This member consistantly makes accusations that do not have merit. He accuses other members of acting in collusion with one another or with the management company and consistantly verbally attacks members, vendors, our attorney, loan officers or anyone else who appears in the way. These accusations are generally followed by demands for documentation. It can happen with any situation and at any time without warning or reason. These "tantrums" for lack of a better word are highly disruptive. When his claims turn out to be baseless, he turns to threats or demands for more information. When his claims eventually turn out to be true, regardless of the severity of the infraction, he holds them over the offending member, vender, etc... to gain more power for himself. Speaking out or acting against him is treated as an act of treason. Of course, he does not have to abide by the stringent rules that he places upon others and expects to be treated with respect while being disrespectful.

The only way to calm him down seems to be handling things in the way he wants them done. In the past, this has meant everything from unhandled maintanence issues to being taken to bankruptcy court. He also often takes on responsibilities without following through and when confronted with his neglect he attacks. Another big issue is that he claims to have great knowledge of the inner workings of the HOA system. Upon the simplest of research into his claims I find most of them to be untrue. To be specific, I have found one of his assertions to be true.

Unfortunatly this person is in law enforcement and board members either believe him or are intimidated by his threats. This results in an ineffective board because people stop participating. Two years ago, several board members came together and worked to vote him and another member from the board. I was one of them and the only member of the group still remaining on the board. The following year, he colluded with the 2nd member who happens to own four properties to get himself back on the board. So needless to say I have a giant target on my forhead for my severe act of treason and am consistantly attacked. I don't think that his behavior is going to change and I don't intend to leave the board. So here is my $10,000 question; At what point does his behavior become unacceptable and what can I do about it?

Donna next time he threatens to sue tell him you await the suit and tell him since you did nothing wrong and violated no statutes, that you are certain the D&O insurance will pay for your defense of the suit. He is a bully plain and simple and the more you and your fellow Board members kowtow to him the worse he will act. As to the point his behavior becomes unacceptable, that is something only you can answer. I would print out your CC&R's any state law covering HOA's or nonprofit corporations and the next time he states something is against the law or rules or whatever, hand it to him and ask him to point it out. Of course this will require you to have a reasonable understanding of the material as well. If he insists on acting like an ass, I would record it and make him famous on YouTube although if he is an undercover cop you may have to hide his identity.

Donna IMO your best hope would be if other members of the Board supported your position and view on this yo-yo's behavior.

If everyone else sits back and either supports his behavior, accepts his behavior or is spineless enough to let him continue then it becomes one on one your versus him.

Sadly, many Board have just seat warmers who either have no opinions or just take on those of the dominate member whether they are in fact reasonable or not.

And his position in law enforcement comes as no surprise when coupled with his behavior. There are many insecure, make beleive macho men working in law enforcement. Wanna be tough guys who are on a pwoer trip with a gun and badge. Many also have little regard for women.There is a general belief that they act above the law and common respect for others because they are superior beings. Now that in most cases is a joke.

IF you had the support of other members you could simply overule him and exile him to LaLa land. IF you had a Board President willing to set him straight and the remaining Board members supported that you could slow him down. One on one battle would require more effort and would be more stressful.

We had one idiotic Board member whose term was about to end. Having had enough I scheduled the remaining Board meetings in my home and informed her she was not welcome. That cut her right off and ended her nonsense.
She then attempted to run again for a Board position but I had worked to make that impossible. She got 3 votes out of more than 100 units.

Most important thing is you need support from other Board members and or owners. I also like the suggestion to record the meetings and his behavior. Might give him food for thought in regards to being responsible for his behavior, threats and attacks. If not make them available to the other owners to show what a distruptive force he is on the Board.

Worked for me................

I would do the whole "ASSUME" method...You know what you get when you remove "U and ME" from "ASSUME"? Meaning that I would make sure to bring in a copy of the CC&R's, By-laws, and Articles of Incorporation to EVERY meeting. Whenever there is a question or discussiong about something just stop and say we need to address that in the rules. NEVER ever give an answer without consulting the rule book anyways.

You should by now know the rules backwards and forwards. Nothing wrong with stopping and consulting them during the meetings. It will drive him and others a bit crazy for a bit. However, once you change up how the meetings are conducted by following the rules and meeting structure in the rules, things should change. Usually a change in meeting method relieves some of this struggle.

Donna sounds like you are in quite a pickle.

Over the years I have come to believe that of all the skills a Board would wish to have one rises above all the rest. Now some people like to read the By-Laws, State Laws, Corporation Laws, Roberts Rules of Order and lets throw in Davis-Sterling for those who reside in Cali. Now after reading all of this (and in many cases failing to fully understand them) they consider themselves prepared to serve. IMO more important would be people skills. Simply how to deal with people both difficult and helpful.
Now in some cases you need to work with folks and everyhing goes well. In some cases you need to address and deal with zipper heads which can prove more difficult. First step is to decide what lelvel folks need to be dealt with at. Some people keep things above board add respectful while others are just either low lifes or suffer from mental disorders. In 25+ years of service to our Board I have dealt with all of them and some you might have bever head the pleasure to meet. I have found some people are hell bent on doing things the hard way and they leave you no choice. I can do it either way but let there be no doubt I will go down whatever road is necessary.

In your case sorry to hear the volunteer job requires so much effort on your part. I guess you would have to decide just how far you are willing to take this. And whether that price is worth paying.

Shouldn't have to be that difficult.

So take some time decide for yourself and then figure out IF you decide to just how to win at this bully's own game. If you take away his threats and big mouth like most bullies he will have little left. As I said it would be helpful to have some support but in life sometimes that is not possible.

I have had my property vandalized, I have been assaulted, I have had people I care for assaulted, I have been sued, harrassed, threatened,
among other delights. The perks of the job sometimes. Sometimes in the end that just might not be worth it.

I chose one path but looking back I have to question was it worth it in MY life. The property benefitted but at what price to me.

My suggestion size this guy up, just who and what are you dealing with then come up with a plan. A plan that serves YOU best.

Good luck............

Hi JonD,

I wish I had you on speed dial. When I took this job I was not aware of our responsibility to the homeowners. The previous board didn't seem to realize that we needed to consider the documents or their fiduciary duty to the association. I had to learn all of this the hard way and feel that I have a long way to go before I consider myself an expert. In them mean time, I'm trying hard to get the board to make decisions with regard to the documents and consider its fiduciary duty to the homeowners.

I have worked in customer service for more than 10 years and can truly say that this man has a rare talent for twisting things to his own use. I find that and his treatment of others infuriating to deal with. I have already decided that, for the time being, I may be more helpful in a different role. The president needs to maintain order and while I tried to work with him I just cannot do it peacably. That really isn't in the interest of the assocation. Shockingly, our election didn't go well and the board is hung until these two either accept the result of the election or call for a revote.

Thank you all for taking the time to respond to my request for information. It has been quite helpful.

May I include a bit of personal help here? I find when someone is especially hard to deal with, find something that will make you laugh about them. Imagine when you look them in the face they are wearing a big giant red clown nose! It will force you to smile when you look at them giving you the appearance of a smiling face. Just be careful not to laugh out loud too much in their face...I find dealing with difficult people and putting a smile on your face can be entertaining if you just keep something in the back of your head that makes you smile about them. It works at those moments you realize your the one who's being the frustrated one...

Being President is a ThankLESS job...BUT one you will be ThankFULL for having at times. You have to adopt this as your new lifestyle and realize once you walk out your door or answer your phone you are now "President". Fighting it doesn't help a bit. You have to live it and let it come out of you naturally.

I will tell you a story about one of my most thankfull moments...I was sick one weekend with a stomach flu. My fever spiked to over 103 degrees and I passed out with the thermoter in my hand! Woke up several hours later. Could not stand up without throwing up. I got a knock on my door. It was a neighbor who noticed I had not been outside in 2 days. They heard I was sick and brought me some of their famous Potato salad. Had a few other neighbors also check on me. As a single woman this was truly a blessing. Plus I knew someone would have found my body within a few days...LOL!

So when you get frustrated and blustered, realize what your doing this for. It's those of your association who would bring you "chicken soup" to eat with your blazing pitch forks...If you can't see the forrest for the trees, then get out of the tree...

Tie Vote of all things.

One point of clarification.... "Big shots" like to complain, threaten and demand someone else do the work to solve his problem. Make him the problem-solver without allowing him to sub-delegate the job.

I can relate and have seen the behavior first hand. I would say as far as being sued the only response is "send me the paperwork and I'll deal with it, but don't sit there and tell me about it." I have been on several HOA boards and found they never sued. I have had reason to sue for professional reasons in previous jobs, and trust me, you don't show your cards first. But if he has no merit to his claims, just stop responding. We had a guy like that who would finally stomp off and leave in a huff.

You can call the local police and be anonymous. Just saying. Multiple calls and they get fined. It's a tough love approach, but every time there is a disturbance you call. It does work and you can remain anonymous.