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Posted By n/a on 11/13/2012 4:45 PM
Jon - I again thank you for taking the time to reply to my posts. I will now be leaving this board as I had kindly asked in my previous post that responders refrain from making personal attacks or insults. Before I go, I do have a few answers to your questions.
"When you come to a public forum realiy is you don't get to instruct or arrange how others respond."
First point - Yes, we do know our board members. In fact, two of them are long-time family associates, which is one of the reasons we felt we could be happy in this community. Contrary to what you espouse, I still believe that this is a community that can and should be enjoyed by all, not just a few, such as the board members. And no, I am not the only one to feel this way. Several of our neighbors have voiced displeasure over the manner in which our HOA is run, but none have been in a position to run for the board due to work, family and other commitments.
"I suggested twice now you drop the issue and live your life. Guess you read what you wanted. And not the first time people second guess the Board's acions but they just have no time to give of themselves."
Point two - I appreciate that our board members take time out of their lives to run our HOA. However, I would note that they are all either retired or homemakers with no children or elderly parents to care for. So while I do appreciate their time, the hour that they devote to meetings every other month does not, to me, seem unduly burdensome.
"Perhaps you should reread your own words you fake some appreciation and then demean their efforts as just an hour or so every other month. And yes your family is certainly one of the few in the community that simply has no time due to your decision to have kids, lets let the retired and homemakers who don't do much else donate their time. IF you honestly believe the property is managed with one hour every other month you are sadly mistaken. But that seems to fit best into your limited view of the world"
Point three - While observe all of the various infractions made by our board members on a daily basis, I have never once reported them or complained of them to the management company. As you said, we've all got better things to do with our time and our lives, so I don't bother. I only listed their infractions as an example of how our board, to me and to many of my neighbors, seems to rule this community for its own pleasure, rather than for the good of all its residents.
" I got it now the Board is awful, all the residents have issues with the Board BUT everyone else is to busy to do anything other than judging people when we oursleves don't wish to be judged. Don't judge folks till you walk a mile in their shoes and that you certainly have not done. Funny in your posts you have judged the Board's actions, their decisions and even their motivations but you seem to have given yourself that right"
Point four - I already admitted that I made an error when I happened to leave my trash bag out front behind a bush for a few minutes. However, the other so-called violations are untenable. We followed to the letter the rules re: the wading pool on our deck and actually got rid of it when the complaint was lodged, although there was nothing in the rules against having one. We did not violate any parking rule because the rules specifically state in writing that you can use a visitor parking space for up to two weeks. Furthermore, we were in no way responsible for or liable for the clean up of the diesel spill caused by the landscapers, a fact that our adjacent neighbor the board president was well aware of. However, that in now way stopped her from lodging a complaint with the management company or prevented her husband from yelling obscenities at us in front of my young daughter. I in know way alleged that they HOA planted the tree to slight us. I believe at this point that you are reading my statements as you wish to see them, rather than as they are written.
" If these were now all none issues than why did you bring them up other than to put the Board is a bad light???" Always the victim of abuse.
Point five - There is no shame in not knowing the answer to a question, nor in asking the question. There is only shame in belittling those seeking knowledge, rather than providing them with guidance. In my job, I frequently travel away from my family for weeks at a time to provide training to new employees because I truly want to impart knowledge and show them the fair, just and right way of doing things. Apparently I was wrong in thinking that I could come to a forum like this and seek constructive advice and be provided with a safe outlet for venting my frustration.
" Seems you have a tendency to hear what you wish. Yes, just another day of being the victim. You questioned why your Board did not seek YOUR opinions I gave you the NYS law. I told you they did not need to hold open meetings and my guess if they did you wouldn't attend. You didn't want information you wanted the world to see things YOUR way. You seem to have missed the difference."
Point six - As mentioned previously, I had specifically asked that you refrain from making personal attacks or insults. You know nothing about me or my family other than what I have told you, which is little, or what you have incorrectly assumed. Your comment re: firefighters and policemen is deeply offensive to me and I hope to many other readers on this board. My husband is firefighter for the FDNY and he makes sacrifices of himself and our family each time that he works a night tour, misses a holiday or special event, or risks his life to save the life of someone he doesn't know and often has no appreciation for his efforts. He does all of this at a salary that most people in our area would laugh at. On top of that, he is an only child who cares for his elderly mother, and helps me care for my mother who is disabled. He is a good, law-abiding citizen, and I would thank you not to make slanderous remarks about him or his kind. While agree that not all firemen or policemen are fine upstanding citizens, the same can easily be said of teachers, doctors, priests, etc.
" My point (which I thought was a simple one) was that some people in authority abuse their powers. IE your Board and others. PERIOD. But once again you twist people's words to now suggest I offended your husband the firefighter.( who I do not know nor did I know he was a fireman) but feel free to again be offended. Guess now he is also a victim. This was about your heater prety simple but now you parade your husband, his Mom and your disabled Mom to prove you have been wronged. Come on............... And just to be clear maybe those living outside the NYC area might accept that the firemen in NY constantly on a daily basis rush into fires and save the lives of others but some of us know better. So lets not put them all in for sainthood. And simply becuase you get paid by FDNY doens't make you a hero"
Point seven - Yes, many people in our area have lost everything and we are fortunate that we did not. However, we do work incredibly hard and still struggle to make ends meet living in this area and we can't move due to my husband's career and family commitments. We recently refinished our deck and spent $2,000 on supplies, never mind the time and energy my husband devoted to performing the work himself. We did this in contemplation of being able to enjoy our deck through the autumn and spring months with the use of a deck heater. An intention that was in no way in violation of the rules when we undertook our activities late this summer. To you, $2000 for deck supplies and $200 for a heater may be chump change, but for us, that is a big hit.
" I have lived in NY all my life. For some time I lived in Westchester County where you now reside please don't suggest I or anyone else should feel bad because you are forced to reside in Westchester. That's a hard sell for anyone who knows the area. And this WHOLE issue is about a $200 heater. Sounds to me you would have us believe without the heater the #2,000 worth of work you did to the deck was wasted. Yes no sense trying to enjoy the deck without the heater might as well tear it down. Victim again......."
Point eight - I grew up in a single family household with a disabled mother, absent father and no money for heat, electricity or medicine, and often no money for food. So I know that although my husband work incredibly hard and will never get beyond "middle class" I am truly blessed to have a roof over my head, food on our table, jobs we can depend on, friends to love, family to cherish and a daughter that is the most beautiful creature I have ever met. So yes, now I will be moving on, counting my blessings and counting this as a lesson learned in the true nature and disposition of certain people.
"Final point, many people have a tough life. I will not bore you or others with mine because I no longer wish to be seen as the poor victim of what could have been better. And from the information you provided I have a tough time planning to pass the collection plate on your behalf.
Many people I know would trade places with you in a heart beat. Many people I know might drive through the area you live and only in their dreams would they get to live there. Your husband is paid well for the career he chose. You too work and in these times tough to see that as down and out. But feel free to throw the pity party you seem to like to roll around in. And the issue you have created all over a $200 gas heater. And in your world that makes perfect sense."
"You have a home in Westchester both you and your husband have jobs. Both your Mom and your husband's Mom are alive. ( Some people have lost their parents and might be glad to have the opportunity to care for them rather than using that as a crutch. You can't find your way to even consider that.) You have to remove a $200 heater my advice get over it. If you can."