LOVE THY NEIGHBOR?

I have recently resigned from secretary position on my board after only serving for 2 short months.
My adult son lives with my husband and I for the past 2 years. A couple of my neighbors fear my son
due to behaviors associated with mental illness. I thought being on the board would help my community
better understand my son by me being more available to communicate with by being more transparent as a
board member. In stead it has worked in reverse. Instead of sideline conversations with those few with issues,
I now get attacked by 3 of the 5 board members at each meeting about my sons behaviors. I advocate and am educated
in how to support and understand my son's disorder. The ignorance of society, my neighbors, has caused a whisper down the lane
type gossip that fuels the fire rather than calm these situations. I know my son is no threat to our community, but the others ,who
know him very well, don't want to tolerate his behaviors and are constantly throwing up on me about him. Is this discrimination?
The police call it ignorance on the part of these board/neighbors.

This sounds like a case of open mouth closed ears on your part. Yes you are open about your son's illness. It is that openess that then leads people to believe they can be open to you about their feelings to. Mental illness does not have physical ailments it has more social issues.

Could it be that you don't want to hear what they have to say? For example: Someone with Tourettes syndrom goes to the mall. They are your son. It is a mental illness that can cause shouting of profane words. People are aware of the disease. However, are they not allowed to giggle a bit when they first hear it or see someone else's reaction? It can be a bit alarming before one realizes the condition. Human nature. It does not mean one is not sensitive or uneducated about it. It just means the behaviour can have consequences. It may be a giggle or pointed out. Heck I may live next door to you and may be explaining it to someone who doesn't know. There may be a funny story attached to how one discovered the illness.

So don't be so quick to judge those who are having converstions about your son's condition. It is a way for those to deal with and understand it under their own terms. You may not like it but it doesn't mean they less like your son. Let them get to know him NOT the disease. Keeping open means you need to be open to to listen as well. You may be missing out on important information you need to know...

My heart goes out to you and your son. Mental illness is just like any other illness, people do not choose to get sick either mentally or physically. That being said, you do not say what symptoms you son's illness causes your neighbors' complaints. If it something that makes them fear for their safety, you have to be a little understanding and realize that they are not as knowledgeable about his condition as you are. Also, why is his behavior the subject of discussion at board meetings. Are there a lot of complaints and would any of them realistically cause real concern.

It must be reassuring for you to know that the police do not think these complaints are any more that ignorance about your son's condition and it sounds like your son has not displayed any violent behavior which is good. However, if you want some further insight on the best way to move forward, it would be helpful if you were able to elaborate a little more about your son's condition and why people are afraid of his behavior. Also, is there a local goup that counsels families on coping mechanisms for people with similar problems. You might even think about getting an expert on your son's condition to address members at one of the meetings.