Bullying

Started by NancyG1 • 4 replies • 1759 views

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NancyG1 (North Carolina)
Posts: 119

Posted:

I'm not sure this is the right forum for this subject. But I value everyones opinion and help. This has to do with my forum 2 years ago regarding easement and permit from the State. My neighbor got really mad at me when I stopped the work and the Board had to get the work done legally. He bad mouthed me right after I stopped the Board. Then he stopped me and tried to bully me because my friendship with his wife went down the tubes. Now what he is doing is everytime he see me talking with a friend he rolls his window down and starts laughing. Then the other night I was standing outside talking with my friend/neighbor and I had my PJ's on and I saw them backing out of their driveway so I told my friend I've got to move back so nobody can see me in my PJs. He backed out, pulled in front of my house and started yelling "what rumors are you spreading now". I have no idea what he is talking about. This has been going on for 2 years and I have had enough. I have talked with him, I have ignored him and he still insist on bullying. Any suggestions on how to handle this situation will be appreciated. Thanks. If this is not a proper forum please let me know.

TimB4 (Tennessee)
Posts: 21,061

Posted:

If you feel threatened, contact the police and see about a restraining order.

Unfortunately, the unintended consequence of your decisions is this type of action from your neighbor. Typically, bullies back down when stood up to but not always. Normally it's best to ignore it and don't let them think it's bothering you. If this is done, hopefully it will go away.

If it continues, you may need to seek the advice of an attorney for any legal options (retraining orders, slander, etc.).

BrianB (California)
Posts: 2,820

Posted:

Tim gives good advice. The rest really depends on "what do you feel up to doing?"

You can confront him, you can ignore him, you can laugh and joke, you can belittle him, you can... you can do a lot of things, the question is, what are you comfortable doing?

I would probably ignore him first, and if that doesn't work, turn the tables on him by getting down and dirty in the gutter with him. But, that's me.. I have thick skin, and I also don't mind getting sloppy and fighting dirty. If you aren't a gutter wrestler, then advice to turn the tables, confront him, fight fire with fire, etc. won't do you any good. If you have thin skin, if you feel pressure to meet his expectations of you, if you worry about him being outside, seeing you, speaking to you, etc., then ignoring him won't work either.. you will eat yourself up with worry (or, at the least, you will alter your lifestyle to avoid him, which means he "wins".).

RandyB6 (Pennsylvania)
Posts: 29

Posted:

We had a similar issues recently while not an HOA issue or involvement - one homeowner was being harassed by their neighbor - went on for awhile with the people ignoring it then it escalated to the neighbor blocking them in a park space at Home Depot and foul language over the fence - the police were called and reports have been filed and on record of their actions.

My advice is to record the events as best as possible and report them to the police as harassment/stalking

NancyG1 (North Carolina)
Posts: 119

Posted:

I knew you guys would come through. Thank you. I don't want to linger on this so I am closing this forum. No more messages please.

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