Looking for ideas from other small associations

We are an extremely small association consisting of 11 lots (9 current homeowners).(each lot is about an acre) We are in rural MN and the nearest town/gas station is 8 miles away. The first homeowner has been on the property for 11 years. Our board is made up of a president and a treasurer/secretary. Every year we have a meeting and they all end up in some type of conflict. I am wondering if there are other small associations out there and how they deal with this. Some neighbors wish to break some of the covanents but enforce others. With this few people, it can be very divided and ends up being split by those families that have no kids/retired and those who have families and kids. We have found that personalities play a huge effect in how the "neighborhood" should be run. It has made life miserable for all of us. Any suggestions?

In answering your questions, there are common areas: the paved road, which unfortunately is falling apart, a path around the houses, and an area where we have put up docks. The 2 lots have no homeowners (houses) but have been purchased. Issues include people paying dues late without recourse (supposed to be 8% fine) household wanting 2 pet hens (says in covanents that may have 2 domestic, non-exotic household pets) people bringing pets onto common area (road, path near docks) Clearly says cannot do this. The problem is is that everybody has such different expectations. They way things have gone so far is that if it doesen't effect anyone, it goes. As far as the hens, they are housed in an area that no one can even see or know that they are there. 2 households do not want them because they "break the rules" If some rules are enforced and others are not, it turns into a battle. Are there other associations like this? This one seems to be unique from what I have seen. thank you for your input

Are there other associations like this?

Of course there are, whenever people are involved, this is what you get. There will always be some that feel the rules don't apply to them and at the other end of the spectrum the "Regulation Charlies" who want them enforced to the letter. Think back to the fights and disagreements you saw people having in school and compare how they acted then to how your neighbors are acting now. As my mother used to say: People age but they rarely "grow up".

Board of directors is president and treasurer/secretary. Positions held for many years, no one else want to take it on.

If this is the case, are there associations out there that really do have the 'good' outway the 'bad'. I guess I am looking for hope that these issues will resolve. Specifically then they go to 'arbitration'? If it is a matter of interpretation of the covanents, as such with the hens, does a third party have to be the deciding factor? What about harassment, has anyone been able to prove they are being "picked on" because they were not liked and therefore forced to follow the covanents to a T but allowing others to break them? In our neigboorhood it could appear that way, and like I said, is divided by what seems to be important in your likfe at the time.

Jen....to resolve these issues, I can offer these guidelines:
1. One must accept that different people have different opinion on what is a good lifestyle. Ask yourself: do I secretly wish everybody would think like me? If yes, is that practical? One needs to create "mutual" purpose in order to facilitate a meaningful dialogue.
2. When you say "good" vs "bad", ask yourself: Are those "bad" homeowners really bad? or is it that other people are simply instigating them to behave in bad ways? One needs to maintain mutual respect in order to facilitate meaningful dialogue.
3. One must accept that it takes hard work to maintain harmony between adults. We all see problems within a family, problems within an office, where people are tied together with something common. Here by approving a PUD, your township has made you all responsible for managing your area without giviing you all the right authority. It is easy to see that the job of maintaining harmonay will only be tougher than a office or a family.

Recently, I attended a training class called "Crucial Conversations". I found it to be an excellent refresher on how we need to engage in dialogue. May be you can buy "Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High" or borrow from library.

Loved your response, SteveM9. So true!