Everything is wrong with Everything !!!

Have you ever delt with one of these types of members??? You know the kind of person who thinks that everythig is wrong with everything, and there is not one good thing to say about the HOA. These miserable, and unhappy types of personalities are uncommon, but a real tough nut to crack. I generally try to approach the members by identifing what is agreed upon and building off of the points of agreement. I have found that by focusing on what is agreed upon, and making progress in these areas, when "sticky" issues come up there is a better level of respect and understanding of others point of view. This makes working through these problems less difficult.

I recently had to deal with a member who felt this way about our HOA, it seemed as though she felt we should just level the place with a bull dozer and start over, everything was wrong. She didnt like the way anything is being done, she didnt like the way I have voted on the issues and she even called me an ******* ! Which may be true, but I sure didnt like to hear it from her....LOL This presents the problem of no common ground. If nothing is right then how could I possible meet this member half way?? This extreeme viewpoint is tough as it does not provide for a starting point to work from.

I was wondering if any of the other BOD members out there have had to deal with this personality type, and if you have any input as to how to defuse the member and begin to make some positive and productive progress.

JohnR4

You MUST live in my HOA. lol. I have similar problems. I guess every community has one (or two or three). I totally sympathize.

I asked a similar question on this forum awhile back. The most anyone could come up with was "ignore them." Granted, that is extremely hard to do since the "unhappy" ones are the most vocal while the happy folks sit back and enjoy their lifestyle.

I'm having to force myself to accept the fact that there are basically unhappy people and there will never be anything anyone can do to make them happy. When one of their issues are addressed, they find another....it never ends.

We currently have an individual who evidently is obsessive compulsive and delusional. Now THAT is hard to deal with. He believes all sorts of untrue things. When attempts are made to set him straight, it is like he doesn't understand. He continues with his delusions.

I'm currently the president of our HOA. I'm struggling to figure out how to deal with this personality. It is beginning to damage our community reputation since he tells others outside the community that there are structural problems not being addressed, when it isn't even true. This affects resale of the units when persons believe their are defects or the HOA isn't doing its job.

Perhaps it will help you to know that most if not all areas of "public service" deals with habitually unhappy people. The answer may be, "there is no answer."

Good luck with your situation.

JoyceS1

Well Joyce, I guess I am one of those "unhappy people" because I feel that our BOD's have done nothing right and I am on the Board.....We took over our community Jan of 2006, there was no proper developer/HO transition. We were handed a community in complete disaray. When we purchased our TH's, we had two(2)fountains in our Lake, at take over we had one(1), the developer had decided he wasn't going to repair or replace the second one. The Lake had 2/3 feet of dead grasses around the perimeter, stone pillows were crumbling at the enterance to our tiny park, 30+ dead bushes, over grown planting beds and many sprinkler heads broken. We are talking lots of dollars here. Except for myself and one other HO, the members voted to except this mess. A five(5) member BOD's was also voted in. It didn't take long to see that our bank accounts were very low(and the President chose not to do an audit). My first concern was did we have delinquent accounts and how many? I was told by the then President it was none of my business, I was the secretary and that was the treasurers job to get this information. But it was I that found out a couple of monthes later, we had 30 delinquents 60+days past due date and seven(7) were 2 payments(semi annually-$5200.) behind and were probably not going to pay the next one either. And to this day six of those still haven't paid as far as I know. I ask the President(new one-we now only have three(3)BOD's) last week had the attorney ever collected and she said:"I don't know". NONE of the CC&R's have been enforced, commercial cars, signs, trash cans left on street, basketball goal on the sidewalk, etc. We ran out of money before the end of the year because of delinquent accounts and because of the lowballing the developer had used in setting our budget/assessments. The President raised the dues in Jan/07 w/o any notice to the HO's, just the invoice. The Board is allowed a 10% increase w/o HO vote but a notice was still suppose to be sent 30 days prior to due date. I have ask from day one for us to set up a late charge for delinquent accounts, telling them that this had to be put in print and a notice send to all HO's and for a violation fine schedule. None of this has happened. Since they (the two other Board members-they stick together so I have no say in the matter) don't enforce the violations then I guess theres no reason for fines. The second fountain has been broken since April 2006, the dead bushes have never been replaced or even removed. Our TH's have bad water rusting on the siding(which can be removed, my husband and I did ours), the President hired a company in to pressure wash the homes. She hired the cheapest one and the rust is still there but the dirt and bugs are gone(were gone-back again). I felt this was a complete waste of HO's money, since it is the rust that looks so ugly...I have stated in a previous post that we have 50+ rentals and though I have ask for, we have not implemented a single rule to try and regulate renters. Some are wonderful tenents and others are breaking every rule we have. Our anniversay date was Jan 16th which is when we were suppose to have our annual meeting, vote on new BOD's, approve the budget, get financials, as of this day a notice has not been sent and according to our doc there is to be a 30 day advance notice..... OH! yes, the 2/3 foot grasses were cut down at an additional cost of $600. something that our landscaper should have been doing in the first place. By the way we are still using him. My husband and I personally have worked on the landscaping three(3)times (weeding, pruning and removing a dead tree in the park area. Another HO has fixed the pillows by removing the loose stones and placing stepping stones on the tops. Not one newsletter has been sent out, I wrote one and the President didn't like it so I told her to do it herself. I did send it to the few HO's that showed up to the meeting and was told by them they appreciated me doing so. Our HO's know nothing about what is going on in our community, and there has never been any recruitment to fill the empty Board members, this President likes three BOD's, she has more control.....If and when we have our annual meeting, I entend to do all I can to bring all this to the attention to the HO's, the problem is only a handful show up. The President says I'm to pushy and she doesn't care for me. I have only tried to see that we do the job we were elected to do, nothing more, nothing less. I have read the CC&R's, Articles of Incorparation, Bylaws over and over again and study the articals on this site and others at least 3 hours everyday in order to learn. All I have ask of the other Board members is that we do our duties and if that means changing things then lets do that too but until we do, then follow the CC&R's to the letter.....So yes(IMO), "everything is wrong with everything."

WOW! is right....yes, this President hired a new MC(not the one I got a bid for but convicned the 8 HO"s that attended the meeting that this was the best one. Once again this proved to be the wrong choice. I am able to access our electric bill on line (the President hasn't removed me yet????) and I found that since the new MC had taken over in Sept., thay had NOT paid the bill and our account was delinquent and was going to be turned off. They had NOT even bothered to change the billing name and address. I e-mailed the Presidnet and treasurer about this and the bill was eventually paid. I spoke w/the President about this and she said, "well, the old MC had not forwarded the bills, blaming them for this. and once again, I was told that this was not my business so why did I call the utility company. Can you believe this....I told her that everything that goes on in my community is my business as a HO even if she thiks it isn't as only the secretary. Had I not called(I wish I hadn't) we would have had no street lights. It was this same new MC that failed to send out the assessment invoice 30 days in advance of the 10% raise to our assessment. That's another thing, I brought up to the President and again, she said to me, "then just don't pay you assessment until 30 days after you received your invoice" (if I did that than that would make my payment delinquent according to the CC&R's. The same MC that has not sent notice of our annual meeting that was to be Jan 16th. I don't know who is calling the shots but they are failing to up hold the job they were elected or hired to do.....The Board knows what they are to do because I have spoken to and e-mailed them both about all these things...about the assessment and annual meeting I sent e-mails way back in Nov. reminding them that we didn't have much time to get all this together, including the new budget....My biggest problem is I don't live in the community. My daughter lived in my unit but moved out over a year ago and the place has been empty every since. Iwas not lucky enough to get good tentants next to my units, I have two of the worst. I wouldn't rent my place because I didn't want the same kind of tenent. We were getting the after Katrina people and if you watched the national news, you saw what those people were doing to the places they were put in by Fema. I chose to leave it empty for my sake and the community. Anyway, I do not know many of the HO's and as I said they do not know what is going on anyway. If and when we ever have our annual meeting I will do my best to bring all this up and hope I can get some support but as we all know some HO's aren't interested at all in getting involved. Only if something involves them directly.....The worst thing about a HOA is that we really have no one to turn to for help. The State doesn't offer any assistance. I have read on the forum that you can sue the HOA and the Board. How do you do this? What court would you go to? I had tried once before to find an attorney but the said they deal w/only HOA's. Guess they figure there just isn't enough money in it for them.....Legal action cost so much and the Board knows this so they feel they can do as they please and nothing can ever be done about it. Something terrible would have to happen to get HO's interested, like some kid drowning in the Lake.....Like you, I am only trying to make a difference, to do the job I was elected to do, to the very best of my ability...Sometimes I feel like just giving up, selling my place and het the hxxx out.

Sorry Dan....I just get carried away when I start typing. I promise I'll do better. This old lady has a hard time reading it herself...lol

I loved the Donkey story too....

JohnR4--
It is difficult to know how to deal with people who are chronic complainers. You can take the approach to 'kill them with kindness' by listening to them whenever they want to b---; however, sometimes this just fuels their need for special attention.
It may be best to encourage them by starting a policy of all complaints/concerns must be sent in writing to the Board using an 'action form'. Send a letter to all residents explaining that board/committee members do enjoy walking the community but would rather not be confronted with problems 'on the street'. Rather, using the form to explain your concern with your signaturea will allow the Board to note a 'serious' concern and then send it to the appropriate committee for discussion. Perhaps once/twice a year a town hall meeting can be held (no minutes) for all residents to brainstorm the issues that have been raised.
It may diffuse those who constantly find fault. It may even spark a 'new committee'. Most of all, it brings the community together to find a solution that 'will benefit the community as a whole'. Some residents forget this must be the focus of any solution for community living.
I agree it's not easy to deal with difficult personalities in a community setting. Way back when we all lived in 'neighborhoods' we could choose not to deal with certain people. We could just ignore them and we could all go on in our own private utopia.
But, alas, all communities are faced with this same problem of getting along. It's called human nature.
The important thing is to not focus on the negative, but together find a positive outcome. It's what will ultimately make the difference in
enjoying community living, positive resales and appreciation of property values.
Best of luck to you in your efforts.
PaulM