Just when you thought you saw it all...

The tenant of one of our homeowners who showed up at one of our monthly meetings to complain about the tall weeds in a water retention basin on a property adjacent to our community. Apparently the tall weeds attracted a black panther (all the way to Pennsylvania) that was acting menacingly towards the tenants dogs. He didn't feel that he should have to check his back yard for black panthers every time he left his dogs out.

Several days later he approached me to explain that he wasn't insane and that he really did see a black panther. The proof being that there is "a population of them living in Florida". Apparently Florida has no tall weeds so the panther made the 1200 mile trek to find some. Actually the more likely explanation is that the tenant had just received a visit from his "pharmacist".

The benches in our park were cheap to begin with, and ten years later were breaking apart. In my research for new benches I discovered Correctional Industries, which is part of the state penitentiary in my town, where the inmates make all sorts of things, sell them, and put the money back into the rehabilitation programs for the prisoners. It turns out, that while not cheap, they were still the best deal to get three benches. I sent out an e-mail just letting folks know of the three options, as it was a bigger expenditure than we normally have, and everyone who responded said, "Go local." Except, except, except for these two folks who wrote back, "If you are going this route because it is the best use of our money, we support it. But if you are doing this out of some bleeding-heart liberal notion of helping the "boys up on the hill," "living in the lap of luxury," we will not support it!" Yeah, that's what I think of when I think of prison life -- luxury! Well, these kind folks are sports supporters of the state university, so much that they have cars the school colors, school flags a'flyin' everywhere, and dress as if they are at a never-ending football game. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the bleachers and the benches at the shuttle stations, the very ones they sit their fat blankety-blanks on, are all made by Correctional Industries! Which, of course, they help pay for! HA! I begged the prison rep to please let a few of the "boys-in-orange" come to install the benches, just to mess with this family. Alas, not gonna happen. However, the benches are fabulous! Like I told the rep, "Well, if there is one thing y'all know inside and out, it's steel!"

Oh my god, what was the outcome of THAT little venture?

One of my duties as HOA Secretary is to pick up and file paperwork of all types.

Last month our HOA was going to replace a split rail fence that had encircled a small grassy island on one of our HOA's private roads. The original fence had been in place for as long as anyone could remember, probably 40 years or more. When I mentioned that I had picked up a fence permit application from our local township, our new HOA president accused me of interfering and not "knowing my place". Two other board members agreed and chimed in that "no one would know or care" if a permit was not obtained for the fence.

The animosity became so great that the HOA president fibbed to the ordinance officer about the intent of the fence.

The HOA president called a board meeting last week (< this has been a separate topic on this forum!). During the closed session I tried unsuccessfully to prevent, the HOA president alleged misconduct on my part for three and a half hours.

The HOA president resigned last night.